Welcome to the newest installment of the Bargain Bin(ge), where I cover used DVD stores from around the country and the various movies I have plundered from them.
Earlier this week, work took me out to fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. With the limited free time I had, I decided to check out some used media stores in search of DVDs.
One place I checked out was a little hole in the wall on Sahara Ave. called Record City, which proved to be a pretty spiffy spot for digging up DVDs, VHS tapes, and records.
The thing that most stood out to me about Record City was the significant stock of VHS tapes, which is becoming increasingly less common to see. I didn’t wind up picking up any as they are a little unwieldy for air travel, but a VHS copy of “Heavy Metal” definitely stuck out to me on a cursory look-over of the section.
The DVD prices weren’t too bad, but the selection left a little bit to be desired. I still managed to find plenty to walk away with, but it was probably the least impressive of the three shops I visited in Las Vegas, at least from a DVD standpoint.
From the looks of it, “Apocalypse” is a lower-budget “Left Behind” knockoff, which leads me to hope that it will make excellent fodder for a (God)Awful Movies segment. From the looks of the trailer, this is going to be an absolute hoot to watch through.
“The Vampire Bat” is an old vampire movie from the 1930s directed by Frank Strayer, who was behind a ton of horror movies from 1920s through the 1950s. It should make for an interesting watch from an era in horror that I don’t typically cover.
I already wrote about “Mitchell” back as part of the IMDb Bottom 100, and I even already have a copy of it. I just couldn’t resist picking up this obviously fake DVD copy of the movie. What are the odds that “Mitchell” is even on the disc in this box?
“Bride of the Gorilla” is a b-movie about a man who is cursed into becoming a gorilla. It is one of countless movies out there to feature a man in a gorilla suit as the central monster. The writer/director, Curt Siodmak, was a prolific screenplay writer best known for penning “The Wolf Man,” and Lon Chaney, Jr. even pops in for a role in the feature.
“The Undead Express” is apparently a movie about vampires living in the New York subway system. From what little I have read, it sounds like it was catered to a younger audience, which certainly isn’t clear from the trailer. Ron Silver of “The West Wing” and “Timecop” leads the cast, which also features a bit role by Wes Craven, which the DVD box advertises as much as possible. I’m not sure what to make of it, but I’m planning to give this movie a shot at some point.
Welcome back to the Misan[trope]y Movie Blog! Today’s feature is the 1994 time travel action flick, “Timecop.”
“Timecop” was directed by Peter Hyams, whose other films have included “End of Days,” “Capricorn One,” and “Stay Tuned.” He also provided the cinematography for the movie, something that he has done on a number of his features.
“Timecop” is an adaptation of a Dark Horse comic story by Mark Verheiden and Mike Richardson. It was written for the screen by Verheiden, who has worked on films and television shows such as “Smallville,” “Battlestar Galactica,” and “The Mask” as both a writer and a producer.
The music on “Timecop” was provided by Mark Isham, who has provided scores to films like “Point Break,” “Lions For Lambs,” “The Net,” “Quiz Show,” “October Sky,” and “The Hitcher.” Over his significant career, he has accumulated nearly 150 composition credits for films.
The special effects team for “Timecop” included elements from such productions as “Robot Jox,” “E.T.,” “A.I.,” “Lake Placid,” “The Cabin In The Woods,” “Watchmen,” “Superman,” “It,” and “First Blood,” among many others. The visual effects supervisor for “Timecop” was Gregory McMurry, who has worked on such films as “Argo,” “The Core,” “Con Air,” “Predator 2,” “Star Trek: The Motion Picture,” and “Blade Runner” over his film career since the 1970s.
The production design on “Timecop” was done by one Philip Harrison, who worked on films like “The Core,” “Spawn,” “Mississippi Burning,” and “Stay Tuned.” “Timecop” was edited by Steven Kemper, who has cut such features as “Face/Off,” “Mission: Impossible II,” and “Harry And The Hendersons.”
The cast for “Timecop” is headlined by Jean-Claude Van Damme, one of the most iconic and recognizable action stars of the era. The accessory cast is filled out by Mia Sara (“Daughter of Darkness,” “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”), Ron Silver (“The West Wing”), Bruce McGill (“Lincoln,” “Collateral”), Gloria Reuben (“ER”), and Kenneth Welsh (“The Aviator”).
The story of “Timecop,” predictably enough, is about a police officer tasked with stopping crimes committed via time travel. He winds up attempting to thwart a vast power play helmed by an ambitious politician who is exploiting his access to time travel technology as a criminal enterprise.
The success of “Timecop” eventually spawned both a sequel and a television series, and rumors of a remake in the near future have been floating around for a couple of years (without the involvement of JCVD, reportedly).
The Jean-Claude Van Damme movie “Sudden Death” was made back-to-back with “Timecop,” and featured many of the same players from the “Timecop” production team.
“Timecop” wasn’t generally received well by critics, though it is one of the higher regarded films from Jean-Claude Van Damme’s filmography. It currently holds a 5.8 IMDb score, along with Rotten Tomatoes ratings of 43% (critics) and 35% (audience).
“Timecop” was made on a $27 million budget, and grossed close to $102 million worldwide in its theatrical run, making it a significant hit. It is one of the very few Jean-Claude Van Damme movies to break 100 million in total grosses, and is regarded as one of the highlights of his career.
In his review, Roger Ebert called “Timecop” “a low-rent ‘Terminator,'” and that influence can certainly be seen throughout the film. The financial success of the first two “Terminator” movies spawned a horde of imitators, and while the plot to “Timecop” bears less similarities than most of them, the focus on time travel action goes a long way towards inviting comparisons.
A number of the critical complaints I saw about “Timecop” were regarding the way that time travel is treated in the film, in the sense that not enough thought or originality is put into it’s portrayal or repercussions. I think it is a little ridiculous to expect hard science in this sort of action movie, but there are certainly some moments in the story that require some significant suspension of disbelief.
“Timecop” is arguably a showcase of Jean-Claude Van Damme at his peak physique, and that is something the film definitely uses. He is absolutely a believable action hero, and the somewhat infamous shots of his splits certainly aren’t done with special effects.
Speaking of which, the special effects that are used in the film have not particularly aged well, especially when compared to other early 1990s movies. I have seen a number of complaints about this from more recent reviews, but I am sure that in the context of the time they were at least passable. “Timecop” is essentially a step above a b-movie, but not quite an A-list feature, and it definitely looks like it.
Overall, “Timecop” certainly isn’t an elite sci-fi or action movie, and isn’t anywhere near my go to “-cop” movies (“Robocop,” “Maniac Cop,” “Samurai Cop”…). There are better action movies and better sci-fi movies, but “Timecop” finds a perfectly OK middle ground. It isn’t incredibly memorable, but I don’t think most would regret watching it.
“Timecop” certainly has some fun moments, and if you are a fan of JCVD, this is almost sure to be up your alley. I definitely recommend checking out the We Hate Movies podcast episode on the movie to get a more thorough idea of what you are in for. It treads the line between being a bad movie and just being a generic action flick, but either way you can find some enjoyment here.
Today marks my 26th birthday. To celebrate the occasion, I decided to surround myself with close friends and family, and take a little break from the world of awful movies. Just kidding! I watched a shitty movie with a birthday theme.
1981’s “Bloody Birthday” was co-written and directed by Ed Hunt, whose credits include a documentary called “UFO’s Are Real” and an episode of “Greatest Heroes of The Bible.” Sounds like just the sort of person I try to avoid in my daily life. The other co-writer on “Bloody Birthday” is one Barry Pearson, who primarily producers television programs that I assume no one has ever seen.
The music for “Bloody Birthday” was done by Arlon Ober, who provided scores for such horror films as “Incredible Melting Man,” “Q,” “Child’s Play,” and “House.”
The special effects on “Bloody Birthday” were provided by Roger George, who worked on films like “Blacula,” “The Terminator,” “Saturday the 14th,” “Chopping Mall,” “Ghoulies,” and “Repo Man.”
The cast of “Bloody Birthday” includes Lori Lethin (“The Day After”), Susan Strasberg (“Scream of Fear,” “Picnic”), Billy Jayne (“Cujo”), Julie Brown (“Plump Fiction,” “Earth Girls Are Easy”), Jose Ferrer (“Dune”), and Michael Dudikoff (“American Ninja”) in a background role, the same year as “Enter The Ninja.”
The story of “Bloody Birthday” centers around three children who were born on the same day, and are apparently ravenous killers due to the astrological situation at the time of their birth. Around their 11th birthdays, they decided to go on a spree, picking off parents, teachers, and local teenagers. One of their classmates and a babysitter start to catch on, but the town refuses to believe that children are behind the string of horrific murders.
“Bloody Birthday” went by a number of alternate titles in foreign markets, including “Killers of the Eclipse” and “Children of the Devil,” which are both easily more appropriate names for the film. I assume “Bloody Birthday” was chosen because of the trend of naming horror movies after assorted holidays, despite how tangential the birthday actually is to the story.
“Bloody Birthday” currently has a 5.7 score on IMDb, as well as a 38% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. However, it does have a little bit of a cult following among horror aficionados, but it is still a bit of an obscure film. I couldn’t dig up any financial information on the film, but I assume that the budget was plenty low and that it didn’t receive any kind of wide release, given that the production company behind it has no other credits.
There are certainly plenty of things to criticize about “Bloody Birthday.” First off, the trio of evil children aren’t exactly stealthy killers, but the small town is apparently incapable of hearing gunshots ring out in the night. They also kill in broad daylight on a couple of occasions, giving little mind to the fear of witnesses.
Speaking of which, how strong are these children supposed to be? It could be argued that they are cursed by their astrological destiny, but that doesn’t really excuse their ability to beat a grown man to death. I happen to know that there are plenty of scientifically accurate studies out there about how many 5th graders grown adults can take in hand to hand combat, and this film doesn’t seem to fit with those findings.
I don’t think I need to go into the problems with the astrology-based mythos behind this movie’s plot. Basically, the alignments of planets do not affect people’s personalities. Also, why aren’t there thousands of maniacal children in this movie? Surely there were more than three kids born on the astrologically significant day in question?
To the credit of the child actors in “Bloody Birthday” the killer kids are genuinely creepy in this movie. I usually dread any movies that rely on children in key roles, but this trio is absolutely passable here. The rest of the acting in the film is your typically b-movie mixed bag, but it is all serviceable enough in my opinion.
Overall, “Bloody Birthday” isn’t a great horror movie. It has a few creative deaths that are worth watching, and the evil children keep it interesting, but this is more of a copycat of other horror movies than anything unique to itself. There also isn’t a very satisfying conclusion, which brings it down a peg.
As far as a recommendation goes, you could certainly do a lot worse. The movie is paced well enough, and never quite felt boring. If you want to watch an obscure horror movie or are itching to watch children murder people, “Bloody Birthday” will satisfy you.
Today’s feature is a little film called “The Last Samurai.” No, not the 2003 Tom Cruise movie that we are all familiar with: the 1991 Lance Henriksen movie that no one has ever heard of.
“The Last Samurai” was directed and written by Paul Mayersburg, who is best known for writing “The Man Who Fell To Earth” and “Croupier.” “The Last Samurai” was the last of three films that he directed, but he is still active as a screenwriter, and is currently attached to an announced 2016 movie called “Killer Surreal.”
The cinematography for “The Last Samurai” was provided by Sven Persson, who worked on and off on films set in Africa since the late 1940s according to his IMDb entry. “The Last Samurai” is his last reported film work.
One of the producers of “The Last Samurai” is a man named Tony Carbone, who has no other recorded producing credits. However, he has a co-writing credit on a 2010 episode of the television series “Archer” called “Honeypot,” which is a fan favorite in the series. I’m a little curious if these are indeed the same person, and how he wound up with these credits decades apart from each other.
The special effects on “The Last Samurai” are credited to Massimo Vico, who worked on films such as “King Solomon’s Mines” and Albert Pyun’s infamous “Alien From L.A.”
The stunt coordinator for “The Last Samurai,” Scott Ateah, has gone on to work on over 200 films, including big budget productions like “Watchmen,” “X-Men: The Last Stand,” “Slither,” and “I, Robot,” as well as infamous flicks like “The Core,” “Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2,” “The Wicker Man,” and a whole bunch of “Air Bud” movies.
The cast of “The Last Samurai” is headlined by Lance Henriksen, a veteran b-movie actor who is best known for his role as the android Bishop in “Aliens.” However, he has also been featured in movies like “The Pit and The Pendulum,” “The Mangler 2,” “Hard Target,” “Super Mario Bros.,” and more movies about Sasquatch than you might expect. John Fujioka takes the other central role, and has appeared in films like “American Ninja” and “Mortal Kombat.” The rest of the cast features John Saxon, a veteran character actor who has appeared in features like “Mitchell,” “A Nightmare on Elm Street,” and “From Dusk Til Dawn,” Arabella Holzbog of “Carnosaur 2” and Richard Linklater’s “Bad News Bears” remake, and Lisa Eilbacher of “Beverly Hills Cop,” “Leviathan,” and “10 to Midnight.”
When it comes to summarizing the story of “The Last Samurai,” I can’t possibly do any better than the back of the suspiciously-fake-looking DVD case that I paid 95 cents for:
“Japanese multimillionaire, Yasojiro Endo journeys to Africa to find the truth about a Samurai ancestor who disappeared two centuries ago and to find the true spirit of the Samurai in himself. While on a safari with mercenary Johnny, he bumps into a business acquaintance also on safari, except he is actually in the midst of a covert arms deal. Endo and Johnny are now in the way, and must reach deep within themselves and come to terms with their personal demons to summon their strength for their fight to the finish. They confront their inner selves, and both discover their true nature is that of the Samurai.”
“The Last Samurai” was initially released straight to video in Germany, and took a number of years to get distribution in the United States. As I mentioned earlier, almost no one has heard of this movie, so it clearly didn’t make a financial splash. Predictably, there is no budget information about the film available, but I have to assume that it was very, very low.
“The Last Samurai” starts with a black and white, slow motion sparring session, which is later implied to be a moment from a former life of Fujioka’s character. It doesn’t really fit with the rest of the film, and I am a little curious as to if it was filmed after the fact and edited in. The fact that it was used for at least one home video cover of the movie has me a little suspicious.
My first thought after starting “The Last Samurai” was “Holy crap, this score is awful.” The theme sounds like a synthesizer replication of a middle school saxophone player warming up. The rest of the score is a mixture of ominous synthesizer tones and occasional drum beats, which gets very old quickly. The music is credited to a guy named Rene Veldsman, who only did scores for six low budget movies in his career, which is probably for the best.
I’m not sure if the problem is my DVD copy or if it is the movie itself (or a combination of the two), but the film quality here is just abysmal. to the point that it is honestly distracting whenever there are sudden movements or cuts.
Lance Henriksen portrays a mercenary in “The Last Samurai,” and has a line at one point that I am willing to bet was pulled from real life. When negotiating his pay, Henriksen nearly runs down Fujioka with a car, after which the following exchange takes place:
“You have a Japanese sense of theater”
“If I’m an actor, I want 20 grand. A day.”
I’ll admit, I got a little giggle out of that.
Speaking of which, the acting in “The Last Samurai” is a mixed bag. Lance Henriksen thankfully hams up his character, and makes his segments entertaining. He even seems to be enjoying himself with the role, which is really great to see. Fujioka makes a lot of dramatic use of a personal fan, which I think is supposed to be stately, but just looks kind of ridiculous in the context of the film. John Saxon also stands out, if for no other reason than because of his astounding miscasting as a wealthy middle eastern arms dealer. His attempts to nail down his character’s accent and just surreal coming from a second generation Italian immigrant from Brooklyn. The rest of the cast outside of those three, however, is abysmal. There is clearly a lot of use of non-actors who can barely get through a line, which makes any interactions between the actual actors and the accessory cast excruciating.
At least some of the blame for the performances has to be leveled at Mayersburg, given he both directed the feature and wrote the dialogue (which some of the actors were understandably having trouble with). His inexperience as a director almost certainly contributed to some of the problems with the movie, and I think it is safe to say the the film is better written than it is directed.
All of that said, the movie isn’t all bad. It takes way too long to get going, but the last 20 minutes of action is pretty fun, and Henriksen absolutely thrives in his role. The movie could definitely have used some more editing to help with the pacing and the extraneous character details that bog it down, especially given how long it feels at 1 hour 30 minutes. Still, there are far more tortuous film experiences out there, and this flick at least offers some redeeming moments.
As far as a recommendation goes, if you have ever wanted to see Lance Henriksen’s bare ass or watch him awkwardly play with a monkey, this is the movie for you. Outside of those niche interests, “The Last Samurai” is a bit too slow to recommend outright, though the highlights are probably worth checking out.
Today’s feature is yet another reviled and unnecessary sequel: 2002’s “American Psycho 2,” starring Mila Kunis and William Shatner.
“American Psycho 2” was directed by a fellow named Morgan J. Freeman, who has most recently served as an executive producer on the reality television show “Teen Mom.” He has also had a handful of directing credits since the early 1990s, but nothing since a few television episodes in 2010.
The screenplay for “American Psycho 2” is credited to two people: Alex Sanger and Karen Craig. Craig has another writing credit for a 2005 television movie, but outside of that neither individual has credited film writing experience.
The cinematography on “American Psycho 2” was provided by Vanja Cernjul, who has worked on acclaimed television series such as “Bored to Death,” “Nurse Jackie,” “30 Rock,” and “Orange Is The New Black,” as well as a handful of films like “Wristcutters: A Love Story.”
The “American Psycho 2” score was composed by Norman Orenstein, who has worked on the music for the “Cube” sequels, George Romero’s “Diary of the Dead,” and the “Animorphs” television series.
The producing team for “American Psycho 2” features a trio of returning producers from “American Psycho,” including an eventual president of production for Lion’s Gate in Michael Paseornek. Paseornek, along with fellow producers Chris Hanley and Christian Halsey Solomon, are the only returning elements from the original film.
The cast of “American Psycho 2” is headlined by Mila Kunis, who was in the middle of her success with “That 70s Show.” Her earlier credits included a handful of child roles in films like “Santa With Muscles” and “Piranha,” and she has of course gone on to have significant success as both a live action star (“Black Swan,” “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) and a voice actor (“Family Guy”). The rest of the cast is pretty sparse on recognizable faces outside of William Shatner, who most know from his role as Captain Kirk in “Star Trek.” However, his lengthy career has also featured a couple of famous “Twilight Zone” episodes, a handful of memorable b-movies like “Kingdom of the Spiders,” and a whole lot of other television roles (like “T.J. Hooker”).
The story of “American Psycho 2” centers around a young college student obsessed with becoming a professional criminal profiler, who believes that becoming a Teaching Assistant under a noted professor is the key to realizing that goal. Over the course of the film, she targets and eliminates all of the perceived obstacles and rivals that stand between her and the coveted position. The tenuous connection to “American Psycho” comes in the form of her back story, which shows that, as a child, she witnessed Patrick Bateman murder her babysitter. She then killed Bateman while he was distracted and escaped the murder scene, leaving a mystery as to how Patrick Bateman came to meet his end.
The production company behind “American Psycho 2,” Lionsgate, is now regarded as one of the top “mini-major” film studios in the business, producing blockbusters like “The Hunger Games.” However, that has only been the case since about 2012. Before that, though they co-produced some larger features with other studios (such as “Hotel Rwanda” and “The Day After Tomorrow”), they primarily dealt with upper-end b-movies and horror films: “American Psycho,” “Cube,” and “Saw,” for instance.
From what I can tell, in 2002 “American Psycho” was one of the few profitable properties Lionsgate had, and the studio needed a film that could be depended on to make some money. Apparently, the producers took a screenplay and amended it to provide a tenuous connection to “American Psycho,” and went ahead with branding it as a sequel, assuming that the name recognition would equate to profits. This predictably angered the fan base of the original film on principle alone, but the ultimate product made them exponentially more livid.
The notoriously fickle and ill-tempered author of “American Psycho,” Bret Easton Ellis, has of course denounced the film as an unnecessary and shameful sequel. Even Mila Kunis is reportedly ashamed of the film, though she is certainly a much bigger star now than she was in 2002, and can afford to dissociate herself from earlier embarrassing works.
“American Psycho 2” never got a theatrical release, and went straight to home video distribution. Of course, given the annoyed fan base of the original film, the sub-par script, and the cheap production, it was not received well. The film currently holds an IMDb rating of 3.9, along with Rotten Tomatoes scores of 11% (critics) and 18% (audience), which is abysmal by all accounts.
Given the obsession with detail featured in both the book and film of “American Psycho,” it is an extra spit in the eye that this sequel is so lax in its attention to minor (and major) details. For instance, Mila Kunis’s character is called the wrong name in displayed newspaper and book features, even after her fake identity and history is exposed.
Personally, my biggest issue with this movie is how poorly it lived up to its potential as a film. The forced changes to the script to make the film into an “American Psycho” sequel ruined what could have been an interesting young adult-focused serial killer movie with a rewrite or two. I didn’t even think the performances were completely awful, which is a major criticism I have seen of film time and time again. Shatner probably wasn’t the best casting, but I am willing to bet he was the biggest name that the production could get for the money that they paid. After all, this was movie that was engineered (poorly) to profit, which means they wanted bang for their buck. At the time, I have to assume that both Kunis and Shatner came pretty cheap, but were still recognizable enough to market. With a little more attention, money, and time, I think the nugget of a story beneath “American Psycho 2” could have been turned into something at least palatable.
Overall, even if you can divorce the film from “American Psycho” to look at it on its standalone merits, you can tell that it was rushed and made for cheap. It is a film that was never allowed to properly incubate, the the consequence is a sub-par product. It should be looked at as a cautionary tale of what happens when studio interests and producers are allowed to run wild without the checks and balances of an artistic force passionate for the project. Films take a delicate mixture of elements to work, and when the balances are thrown off, things go wrong. “American Psycho 2” is on the opposite end of the spectrum of passion projects, where the artist is unchecked by reason (movies like “Slipstream,”“Glitter,” or “Battlefield: Earth”). Basically, this is an example of a “no-passion” project, where the studio and production logic went unchecked by dedication or artistic merit.
It should probably go without saying, but this isn’t a recommendation from me, outside of a quasi-academic curiosity. Unless you are a huge fan of Kunis or Shatner and want to take a trip through their respective filmographies, this is pretty skippable. If you are a fan of “American Psycho” and want to get angry enough to raise your blood pressure, give it a shot. As far as memorable moments go, there is a creative death by condom, so that may be worth giving a look.
Today’s feature was actually a significant financial success, which moviegoers of 1995 should be embarrassed about now. Here is arguably the least of Michael Crichton film adaptations, “Congo.”
“Congo” was directed by Frank Marshall, a prolific producer with over 100 credits (including “Back to the Future” and “Raiders of the Lost Ark”) whose directing roles before “Congo” included “Alive” and “Arachnophobia.”
“Congo” is loosely based on a best-selling novel by Michael Crichton, who has done his fair share of screen writing and directing on top of writing countless treasured books like “Jurassic Park” and “The Andromeda Strain.” However, the screenplay for “Congo” was written by John Patrick Shanley, an Academy Award winning writer who was behind “Moonstruck” and “Doubt.” Reportedly, Shanley didn’t read the source material, and wrote the screenplay more or less based on a simple synopsis of the story.
The cinematography for “Congo” was provided by Allen Daviau, who was Steven Spielberg’s go-to director of photography earlier in his career, giving him credits on films like “Amblin,” “The Color Purple,” “E.T.,” and “Empire of the Sun.” He also provided cinematography for “Van Helsing,” another film I have covered here on the blog.
The music for “Congo” was composed by Jerry Goldsmith, who worked on scores for films like “Supergirl,” “Mulan,” “Alien,” “Small Soldiers,” and “Gremlins,” among countless others.
Stan Winston was brought in to create the gorillas for “Congo,” specifically because of his impressive work on “Jurassic Park.” In fact, without his abilities showcased in “Jurassic Park,” “Congo” would likely have stayed in production limbo indefinitely, until effects could catch up enough to effectively replicate gorillas.
“Congo” features a pretty deep cast of actors, including Joe Don Baker (“Mitchell,”“Final Justice,”“Leonard Part 6”) Dylan Walsh (“Nip/Tuck”), Laura Linney (“The Truman Show”), Ernie Hudson (“Ghostbusters”), and Tim Curry (“It,” “Clue,” “McHale’s Navy”). Beloved b-movie actor Bruce Campbell (“Evil Dead”) also makes a brief appearance in the opening of the movie, and absolutely kills it with his trademark charm before being dispatched by angry gorillas.
The complicated story behind “Congo” involves a number of plots that converge in an expedition into the jungles of the Congo. A team of scientists is seeking to reintroduce a gorilla into the wild, while a number of other parties piggy-back on the operation in search of diamonds, a mythical monument, and a missing loved one. As you would expect, things quickly go awry for the team.
Famous singer Jimmy Buffett appears briefly in the movie, portraying a pilot. Buffett is actually a trained pilot in real life, which I suppose qualified him for the role.
The diamonds used in the production are actually quartz crystals called Herkimer Diamonds, which were the only believable and large enough stones available for the movie. They are very rare, and are only found in specific areas of New York. The crystal at the end of the film that is thrown away was reportedly actually lost, and is presumably still out there somewhere.
“Congo” has a long production history, extending to before the novel was even published in 1980. The success and technical breakthroughs of “Jurassic Park” gave the incentive to get it off the ground, as previously there wasn’t enough confidence in the effects available to portray the apes. Unfortunately, the effects still weren’t advanced enough to handle portraying apes, due to the difficulties in replicating hair. So, ultimately, gorilla suits and models were used anyway.
“Congo” had a box office total of over $150 million worldwide on an estimated budget of $50 million, primarily because of the significant promotion of the film and the lingering hype over “Jurassic Park,” which was fanned by the advertising campaign which drew intentional comparisons between the two films. “Congo” was ultimately the #16 movie of 1995, coming ahead of critically lauded movies like “Braveheart,” “Heat,” “12 Monkeys,” and “Casino.”
The reception for the movie, however, was not so good. “Congo” currently has an IMDb score of 5.0, as well as Rotten Tomatoes rating of 22% (critics) and 29% (audience), making for a very poor reception across the board.
The ape suits clearly don’t match the impressive effects work in “Jurassic Park,” and have aged very poorly. However, there clearly weren’t any other viable options at the time for creating the apes. Realistically, the only thing that could have been done was to just shelve the movie, which would mean losing out on the coat-tails of “Jurassic Park,” which was the prime catalyst for the production to start with. So, I can excuse the ape suits here, at least from a production standpoint. Regardless, this is probably the most disappointing major creature work by Stan Winston outside of “Lake Placid.”
“Congo” features a number of over-the-top accents which struck me as entirely unnecessary. Tim Curry is by far the worst offender, but his faux-Romanian accent is at least entertaining and hammy. Ernie Hudson puts on a bit of an English accent that is also a bit amusing, but perhaps even more unnecessary for his character than Curry’s near-offensive Romanian.
A number of the criticisms I have seen of “Congo” point out the apparently implied romance between Dylan Walsh and Amy the gorilla, which I think was intentional on some level. Both Amy and Walsh’s character were supposed to be sympathetic, and their bond was central to the story. However, particularly at the end of the film, it seemed like they pushed the relationship a bit too far and overt, and it just didn’t come off as well as hoped. Honestly, I think this is at least partly due to how Walsh played the character. I would be shocked if Campbell (who was also up for the role) wouldn’t have played the relationship as more brotherly or parental in comparison to Walsh’s teary-eyed romantic vibe.
Speaking of which, I think “Congo” really suffers from not having enough Bruce Campbell or Joe Don Baker in the story. Both men have powerful presences and personalities, and steal every moment they are on screen. At the very least, having either of them on the main expedition would have made the film more entertaining to watch.
I can’t very well not mention the diamond-powered “communication lasers” at the center of the plot. It obviously sounds fancy, interesting, and potentially insidious, but it just doesn’t make any sense. How exactly are lasers to be used for communication? Also, why are the lasers solely used as weapons when they are supposedly for “communications”? Was that intentional, and the purpose was to develop new military technology all along? It just isn’t clear.
This isn’t exactly a criticism as much as an observation, but the face in the lost city definitely reminded me of Olmec from the TV game show “Legend of the Hidden Temple.” Of course two stone faces are going to look similar, but just take a look for yourself:
Overall, “Congo” is a pretty dull movie that is only somewhat redeemed by a handful of over-the-top performances. It isn’t good enough to be “Jurassic Park” and isn’t incompetent or goofy enough to be “Anaconda,” and exists in an uncomfortable limbo space in between the two. Realistically, it shouldn’t have been made when it was, and the quality was a costly casualty of a rushed cash-in on the back of “Jurassic Park.” I can still recommend this movie on the strengths of Tim Curry, Bruce Campbell, Joe Don Baker, and the power of nostalgia, but I would be lying if I said making a drinking game of this flick wouldn’t make the experience much easier.
Welcome to the latest installment of the Bargain Bin(ge), where I cover used DVD stores from around the country and the various movies I have plundered from them. This past weekend, I took a trip down to New Orleans: one of the most unique and interesting cities in the United States. Of course, I managed to take some time to dig into a couple of local used media spots between enjoying the cajun food and the sights.
The Louisiana Music Factory is a used media shop on the edge of New Orleans’s French Quarter, sitting on the extreme end of the increasingly popular Frenchman Street. As the name suggests, LMF is primarily a record store, and also has a little stage for live music. That said, it does have a little DVD section that I decided to peruse.
LMF is a cool spot with an interesting ambiance, and shouldn’t be missed if you find yourself in the French Quarter. It is worth the short hike down Decatur. However, you shouldn’t be going for the movies: this is a pure record store, and that’s what you should spend your time digging into here. Unfortunately, records aren’t easy to pack in carry-ons, so I was out of luck. Regardless, I wound up tilling up a couple of worthy DVD finds there.
Caddyshack II
Frankly, this is a movie that absolutely shouldn’t exist. Caddyshack II is a truly reviled sequel that suffered immensely from behind the scenes tensions during the early days of the production. Chevy Chase is the only returning cast member, and he only rarely appears. Rodney Dangerfield backed out before filming, Harold Ramis wanted as little to do with it as possible, and notorious hair-stylist turned producer Jon Peters had a heavy hand in making sure the movie got made in spite of every omen that it shouldn’t be. It is often said that there is nothing worse than bad comedy, but the sheer amount of trivia behind this disaster has me curious to give it a watch.
Sister Street Fighter
Here is a little spinoff that I actually had no idea existed:Sister Street Fighter. I don’t typically cover martial arts movies, but I’ve had my eye on the Sonny Chiba “Streetfighter” series for a while now (not to be confused with the JCVD video game adaptation). “Sister Street Fighter” is apparently a parallel story to “Street Fighter,” and briefly features Chiba. I’m expecting some extreme b-movie violence, and hopefully an enjoyable watch here. Expect a review on this flick sooner or later on the blog.
Welcome to the latest installment of the Bargain Bin(ge), where I cover used DVD stores from around the country and the various movies I have plundered from them. This past weekend, I took a trip down to New Orleans: one of the most unique and interesting cities in the United States. Of course, I managed to take some time to dig into a couple of local used media spots between enjoying the cajun food and the sights.
First up is an old haunt of mine from my college days at Tulane University: The Mushroom.
The Mushroom is sort of an all-purpose alternative interest center: part head shop, part record store, part eclectic emporium. It sits on the corner of Tulane University’s campus, on the second floor of a building that houses both a college bar and one of the most delicious crepe restaurants in the country. Of course, the Mushroom also boasts a significant used DVD section, which I have spent a lot of time digging in over the years.
The most distinctive aspect of The Mushroom, much like New Orleans itself, is the atmosphere. Just check out some of the art on the exterior walls:
Did I mention it is also a head shop? In any case, I love the unique flair of the place, both on the inside and the outside. The DVD section is specifically surrounded by t-shirts branded with classic horror and sci-fi movies, which is a nice touch. I picked up a Godzilla shirt there a couple of years ago that I absolutely love, and I was tempted to dig through to find another one. Maybe next time. The DVD prices in The Mushroom could be a bit better. However, I came out with 5 dvds (6 movies) for about 15 dollars, which isn’t too bad. The biggest problem is that they usually know when they have something rare or obscure, and they mark them up accordingly. You aren’t going to find any steals here in general, but you will almost certainly find something interesting.
Shocker / The People Under The Stairs
So, on to the movies I picked up at The Mushroom. First, there is a Wes Craven double feature of “Shocker” and “The People Under The Stairs.” Neither of these are exactly considered highlights in Craven’s career, but they both have fan followings for sure. Also, I haven’t seen either of them, nor did I have copies of them previously. I recently missed a screening of “The People Under The Stairs” at Gateway Film Center, so I’m going to specifically look forward to giving that a watch.
Iron Eagle
The next find is a bit of a forgotten flick, mostly because of how overshadowed it was by a better film with a similar concept. Years before “Volcano” vs “Dante’s Peak” and “Armageddon” vs “Deep Impact,” there was “Top Gun” vs “Iron Eagle.” I think that this is the first time I have run across a DVD copy of this film, and this is another one I haven’t seen before. I might do a back to back of this and “Top Gun” as a sort of retrospective comparison. Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to do that with “Catch-22” and “M.A.S.H” too. Keep your eyes peeled.
How To Make A Monster
Here is a movie I considered early on as a possibility for Killer Robot Week, but I knocked it out partially because I couldn’t find a copy. So, I was understandably pretty surprised to find a copy of it in the wild. “How To Make A Monster” is a television movie from 2001 that surprisingly features effects work from the legendary creature creator Stan Winston, who certainly had no business working on TV that late into his legendary career. I’ll be interested to see if there is some reason for his involvement, but I’ll save that for a proper review. What is more important to note is that this is a television movie from 2001 about a killer video game, so it is bound to have awful CGI and dated references to controversy over violence in video games. Sounds like a good time to me! The writer/director, George Huang, also did the movie “Swimming With Sharks,” which is basically “Entourage” without the central cast or comedic elements (so, better). It features Kevin Spacey as the intensely abusive and reprehensible super-agent character, and you can just feel how much Piven pulled his character of Gold from the performance. I haven’t seen it in a few years, but I liked it on the initial watch.
Predator 2
When it comes to sequels failing to live up to the potential of their concepts, “Predator 2” has to be towards the top of that list. Moving the stealthy alien hunter from the jungle into an urban environment sounds like a winner, but then again, so did the idea of combining Predators and Xenomorphs on screen. I haven’t seen this flick in years, but I don’t recall hating it when I saw it years ago. I was just…disappointed. I’ll be interested to see what this movie is like for me now, because it has been at least a decade since I last saw it.
Virtual Assassin
Here a flick I don’t actually know anything about: “Virtual Assassin”or “CyberJack.” From what I can tell, it is a “Die Hard” knock-off with a sci-fi, high-tech twist. The director, Robert Lee, primarily works as an assistant director, and has been in the crew of such flicks as Uwe Boll’s masterpieces “House of the Dead” and “Alone in the Dark.” The film stars Michael Dudikoff, who is best known as Cannon’s “American Ninja.” He’s had one hell of a b-movie career, and his presence was enough to sell me on giving this thing a shot.
Today, I’ll be covering one of the most infamous superhero films of all time: 1984’s “Supergirl.”
“Supergirl” was directed by Jeannot Szwarc, who is best known for directing “Jaws 2,” as well as a number of television shows in recent years (including episodes of “Supernatural” and “Bones”). The script for “Supergirl” was written by David Odell, who also wrote the screenplays for “Masters of the Universe” and “The Dark Crystal.” His writing career on films understandably didn’t survive the 1980s.
The cinematography on “Supergirl” was provided by Alan Hume, who racked up over 100 cinematography credits over his career. His works include “A Fish Called Wanda,” “Octopussy,” “A View To A Kill,” and “Return of the Jedi.”
The effects team for “Supergirl” included Alan Barnard (“Krull,” “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade”), Peter Biggs (“Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”), Brian Warner (“Superman,” “Hudson Hawk,” “Alien 3”), Ken Morris (“Willow,” “A View To A Kill”), Peter Dawson (“Gymkata,” “Batman,” “Full Metal Jacket”), Michael Dunleavy (“Event Horizon,” “Gladiator,” “Aliens”), and Ron Cartwright (“Space Truckers”).
The score for “Supergirl” was conducted and composed by Jerry Goldsmith, who created over 250 film compositions over his career, including scores for “The 13th Warrior,” “Small Soldiers,” “Mulan,” “Gremlins,” “Congo,” “The ‘Burbs,” “First Blood,” “Alien,” “Poltergeist,” and “Logan’s Run.”
“Supergirl” features an impressively deep cast, headlined by newcomer Helen Slater in the lead role. The accessory cast includes such notables as Faye Dunaway, Peter O’Toole, Mia Farrow, Brenda Vaccaro, Peter Cook, and Marc McClure (reprising his role as Jimmy Olsen from the “Superman” movies).
The story of “Supergirl” follows the hero as she leaves her home in search of a mysterious lost energy source, which she tracks down to Earth. While hunting it down, she has to learn how to adapt to human customs and blend in with the world.
“Supergirl” is, in fact, canonical with the famous “Superman” series of films starring Christopher Reeves, and iterations of the screenplay intended for him to appear as Superman in either a cameo or supporting role.
With DC recently relaunching a combined cinematic universe, it may just be a matter of time before Supergirl gets another chance at a big screen adaptation. Currently, there is a CBS television series being created around the character, which may or may not ultimately tie in to the cinematic universe.
Helen Slater made a number of appearances on the hit television adaptation of the Superman story called “Smallville,” in which she played Superman’s mother, a nod to her earlier role as a Kryptonian in “Supergirl.”
Interestingly, two distinct cuts of “Supergirl” exist. One is an “international” director’s cut that only premiered on home video years after the movie’s release, while the other is a significantly trimmed version that was theatrically released by TriStar after Warner Brothers shelved it.
The casting pool for the character of Supergirl apparently included notables such as Melanie Griffith and Brooke Shields, which makes it all the more impressive (and perplexing) that it ultimately went to an unknown name. Likewise, the character of Selena was pitched to Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda, and Goldie Hawn before it was ultimately (and infamously) taken on by Faye Dunaway.
The screenplay for “Supergirl” reportedly had to go through a good number of rewrites, each with drastic story differences around the inclusion and exclusion of specific characters. One of the producers (Alyssa Cartagena) was apparently so unhappy with the script’s final form and the production as a whole that she was ultimately dismissed from the film, which was probably better for her in the long run anyway.
The original theatrical poster for “Supergirl” famously (and hilariously) features the Statue of Liberty in the background, holding her torch in the wrong hand. Of course, that is the sort of attention to detail you can expect from one of the worst regarded films of the 1980s.
The character of Supergirl was created in 1959 by Otto Binder and Al Plastino, and is an immensely popular character in the DC universe. Much like Superman, she is a surviving Kryptonian who is given similar powers to Superman while on Earth. Unlike her film version, however, she has developed a good deal of depth over the years, and has gone through a number of reboots and character shifts.
The reception to the “Supergirl” movie was incredibly negative, and the film was nominated for two Golden Raspberries for Faye Dunaway and Peter O’Toole’s performances as the worst of the year. The movie currently holds Rotten Tomatoes ratings of 7% (critic) and 26% (audience), as well as an IMDb score of 4.3.
“Supergirl” had a lifetime gross of just over $14 million in its theatrical run. However, the budget was estimated at $35 million for the picture, making it a significant financial failure when all was said and done.
The biggest problem with “Supergirl” by a significant margin is the writing. The dialogue, the plot, and the characters are all just awful, and it is frankly amazing that this was the product that resulted after five re-writes. Particularly, all of the women come off as excessively simplistic and infantile, specifically Dunaway’s Selena and Supergirl herself. I’m not sure if the characters were intended to be funny, but the way they are written just doesn’t work at all. As much as Dunaway was disparaged for her work in “Supergirl,” she actually seemed like a strong point for me, if for no other reason than she put some intensity and passion into the ridiculous role.
Overall, “Supergirl” suffers a lot not just from the writing and acting, but also from some incredibly slow pacing, which is a problem that can kill any film that would otherwise be entertaining. The highlights of the film are probably worth looking up, but in general it is far too slow to be an entertaining watch. Faye Dunaway is about the only saving grace to the film, and her absence is notable when she isn’t on screen.
For bad movie lovers, “Supergirl” is probably worth giving a shot for the experience of it, and for the highlight moments. However, general audiences probably won’t want to hang around for the whole trainwreck, and could very well doze off somewhere in the second act.
Today’s b-movie feature is “Dollman,” the story of a stranded renegade cop from space who barely measures a foot tall on Earth.
“Dollman” was directed by b-movie legend Albert Pyun, who has been behind films like “Cyborg,” “Captain America,” “Alien From L.A.,” and “The Sword and The Sorcerer” over his 30+ year directing career.
The screenplay for “Dollman” is credited to Chris Roghair, who has no other acknowledged writing credits. The story is credited to Charles Band himself, who ran Full Moon Pictures, the outfit which produced the film. There were a couple of other hands involved in the writing that didn’t received formal credit on the film, namely David Padian (“Puppet Master II”) and Ed Naha (“Dolls,” “Troll,” “C.H.U.D. II”).
The cinematography for “Dollman” was provided by George Mooradian, who also worked on features such as “Bats,” “Omega Doom,” and “The Hitcher II.”
The effects team on “Dollman” included Bill Sturgeon (“Videodrome,” “An American Werewolf in London,” “Aliens,” “The Frighteners”), Logan Frazee (“Blade Runner,” “Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory,” “Heat,” “Mystery Men”) Mike Smithson (“Thor,” “Avatar,” “Teen Wolf Too”) Garrett Immel (“Drag Me To Hell,” “Scream,” “Sin City”) James Belohovik (“Evil Dead II,” “The Thing,” “Robot Jox”), and Roger Borelli (“Men In Black,” “Darkman,” “Army of Darkness”).
The music for “Dollman” was provided by Anthony Riparetti, who has contributed scores for other Albert Pyun movies such as “Alien From L.A.” and “Knights.”
The cast of “Dollman” is headlined by Tim Thomerson (“Trancers,” “Fade to Black”) and Jackie Earl Haley (“Watchmen”), with the supporting cast being rounded out by Kamala Lopez (“I Heart Huckabees”), Frank Collison (“O Brother, Where Art Thou?”, “The Village”) and Nicholas Guest (“Trading Places”).
The story of “Dollman” follows a renegade space policeman as he pursues an alien criminal to Earth, where the two of them only measure a foot tall. They are then forced to find a way off of the planet while surviving life in the gang-dominated Bronx and battling each other.
“Dollman” received a sequel via a crossover with another Full Moon Features franchise, “Demonic Toys.” “Dollman vs The Demonic Toys,” as it was creatively titled, was directed by Charles Band and is widely disliked even by fans of his work.
Interestingly, “Doll Man” is an actual super hero who currently exists within the D.C. canon, though he is best known for in his golden age form published by Quality Comics. He was interestingly the first shrinking comic book hero, predating more well known characters like “Ant Man.” Full Moon’s “Dollman” also had its own limited run in comics published by Eternity, which produced series based on a number of the production’s features.
I wasn’t able to find any information about the budget or financial gains of the film, but I assume that the budget was significantly low given the production company. I would be shocked if it didn’t ultimately turn a profit of some kind. The movie has a bit of a cult following, but isn’t widely beloved: it currently has an IMDb rating of 5.8, and a Rotten Tomatoes audience score of 37%.
Most reviews I have seen of “Dollman” admit that, despite its cheesiness, it certainly has some entertainment value to it for fans of b-movies. I can’t help but agree: it isn’t fantastic by any means, but there are plenty of things to enjoy in “Dollman” if you can accept it for the minimal (ha) production that it is.
The special effects throughout “Dollman” are really a mixed bag. I loved the work that was done to the environments to make characters appear small, and the over-the-top squibs kind of work, but the rest of the effects just don’t cut it. That said, the squibs are more than enough to enjoy for bad movie fans.
I will say that the sets and production design in “Dollman” are ok, and definitely distinguish Earth and the alien world. However, the lighting and shots make things very difficult to see, particularly in the early segments on the alien planet. It pretty much offsets the creative details of the world when you can’t see them on screen.
One of the key draws of “Dollman” is definitely the super gun, which essentially makes up for the character’s small size. The effects of it are absolutely ridiculous and it is beyond overpowered, but it certainly is fun to watch. I will note that the guns design and Dollman’s personality make it pretty transparent that his character is basically Dirty Harry in a sci-fi setting, but that is hardly something to complain about.
The writing and acting throughout the movie is pretty awful, but Tim Thomerson definitely stands out as a highlight. He manages to make some otherwise cringe-worthy one-liners and puns work for his bad-ass character, which is no small feat.
Overall, “Dollman” isn’t a great movie, and doesn’t quite deserve classification among the elite “good-bad” features out there either. It certainly has entertaining moments that give it value, but it isn’t an essential watch if you ask me. If you are a fan of Full Moon or Albert Pyun, you will probably enjoy it, but average audiences might not be as enthusiastic about the feature.
Reviews/Trivia of B-Movies, Bad Movies, and Cult Movies.
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One place I checked out was a little hole in the wall on Sahara Ave. called Record City, which proved to be a pretty spiffy spot for digging up DVDs, VHS tapes, and records.
The thing that most stood out to me about Record City was the significant stock of VHS tapes, which is becoming increasingly less common to see. I didn’t wind up picking up any as they are a little unwieldy for air travel, but a VHS copy of “Heavy Metal” definitely stuck out to me on a cursory look-over of the section.
From the looks of it, “Apocalypse” is a lower-budget “Left Behind” knockoff, which leads me to hope that it will make excellent fodder for a (God)Awful Movies segment. From the looks of the trailer, this is going to be an absolute hoot to watch through.
“The Vampire Bat” is an old vampire movie from the 1930s directed by Frank Strayer, who was behind a ton of horror movies from 1920s through the 1950s. It should make for an interesting watch from an era in horror that I don’t typically cover.
I already wrote about “Mitchell” back as part of the IMDb Bottom 100, and I even already have a copy of it. I just couldn’t resist picking up this obviously fake DVD copy of the movie. What are the odds that “Mitchell” is even on the disc in this box?
“Bride of the Gorilla” is a b-movie about a man who is cursed into becoming a gorilla. It is one of countless movies out there to feature a man in a gorilla suit as the central monster. The writer/director, Curt Siodmak, was a prolific screenplay writer best known for penning “The Wolf Man,” and Lon Chaney, Jr. even pops in for a role in the feature.
“The Undead Express” is apparently a movie about vampires living in the New York subway system. From what little I have read, it sounds like it was catered to a younger audience, which certainly isn’t clear from the trailer. Ron Silver of “The West Wing” and “Timecop” leads the cast, which also features a bit role by Wes Craven, which the DVD box advertises as much as possible. I’m not sure what to make of it, but I’m planning to give this movie a shot at some point.
Misan[trope]y 