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Arena

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Arena

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Today’s movie is Empire Pictures’s mostly forgotten sci-fi boxing flick from 1989: Arena.

Arena was written by Danny Bilson, who also penned Trancers, Trancers II, The Flash, and The Rocketeer, and Paul De Meo, who wrote flicks like The Vipers, Eliminators, and The Sentinel.

The director on Arena was Peter Manoogian, who was also behind movies like Demonic Toys, Eliminators, and Seedpeople, among others.

The cinematographer on the film was the veteran Mac Ahlberg, a frequent Stuart Gordon collaborator who has shot such films as Evil Bong, Re-Animator, Space Truckers, Good Burger, The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit, DeepStar Six, Robot Jox, King of the Ants, Dolls, and From Beyond.

The editor on Arena was Andy Horvitch, another Stuart Gordon cohort who also cut films like Stuck, Edmond, The Pit and The Pendulum, The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit, Beeper, and Demonic Toys.

The producers on Arena included Empire Pictures head Charles Band, Debra Dion (Dolls, Trancers, Troll, Ghoulies), Irwin Yablans (Men at Work, Halloween, Halloween III), and J. Larry Carroll (Laserblast, Diagnosis: Murder).

arena2The music on the film was provided by Richard Band, the brother of Charles Band and noted music composer who has worked on such films as Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dreams In The Witch House, Castle Freak, Troll, and Laserblast.

The makeup effects team for Arena included Scott Coulter (It’s Alive (2008), Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, Friday the 13th Part VIII), Bruce Barlow (From Beyond, Leviathan, Ghoulies II, Dinocroc), Adam Hill (On Deadly Ground, Leonard Part 6, The Abyss, Masters of the Universe), and Alessandro Jacoponi (Troll).

John Carl Beuchler (Troll, Carnosaur, Dolls, From Beyond) was in charge of the creature effects for Arena. The rest of the special effects team included Michael Deak (Pick Me Up, The Lawnmower Man, From Beyond, The Dentist), Mike Elizalde (Lady In The Water, The Frighteners, Total Recall, The Happening), Jeffrey Farley (Wolf, Carnosaur, Robot Jox, Shocker, Evil Bong), Steve Wang (Hell Comes To Frogtown, DeepStar Six), A.J. Workman (Moonwalker, Look Who’s Talking, Mac and Me), Renato Agostini (The Core, Leviathan), and ‘Screaming Mad’ George (Space Truckers, Jack Frost, The Dentist 2).

arena1The visual effects team for Arena was made up of David Stipes (The Lawnmower Man, The Stuff, Creepshow) and Jeff Pyle (Waterworld, On Deadly Ground, Volcano), who primarily did miniature work for the movie.

The cast for the movie included Claudia Christian (Babylon 5), Marc Alaimo (Total Recall, Tango & Cash), Paul Satterfield (Bruce Almighty, Creepshow 2), Hamilton Camp (Joe Dirt, Almost Heroes), Armin Shimmerman (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine), and Shari Shattuck (On Deadly Ground, Death Spa).

The plot of Arena takes place in a distant future, where a number of alien races from throughout the galaxy interact. This society includes a popular form of entertainment: a modified version of boxing.  The story follows a human as he becomes an unlikely star in the arena, and challenges the defending champion. Basically, it is Rocky in space.

Arena currently holds a 5.2 rating on IMDb, along with a 34% audience score on the Rotten Tomatoes review aggregator. However, these both come from pretty small sample sizes, as Arena definitely qualifies as a forgotten feature.

Personally, I was impressed with the creativity and the vision behind the monster designs in Arena, particularly given the fact that there was an extremely limited budget for the team to work with. Most of the aliens are just humans with some makeup effects, but a handful of them are more insect-like or otherwise complicated puppets or rubber suits.

arena3That said, the voice over work (for the monsters that required it) was absolutely atrocious. Horn, the primary antagonist, sounds absolutely ridiculous when he is supposed to come off as intimidating, and comes off as incredibly cartoon-y rather than menacing.

Late in the movie, there is a femme fatale who is introduced over the course of what is supposed to be a seductive musical number. However, just like the monster voice over work, it is absolutely awful. Honestly, he song is almost unbearable to listen to, with or without the lackluster singing, and it plays in the background of an entire scene. It is pretty surreal to watch, given the lead character is absolutely enamored with the impossibly terrible performance, and is distracted by it throughout the scene. Even worse, he acts like he is totally unaware that the singer is affiliated with his enemies, despite the fact that they were introduced by his primary antagonist. Just like Rocky, the hero of Arena (appropriately named “Armstrong”) isn’t the brightest of bulbs.

Overall, there are definitely some highlights to Arena that make it worth watching through, but I think the real value of the movie is in the outlandish premise. A run-of-the-mill sports movie set in outer space against the backdrop of a dystopian society turns a flick that is otherwise pretty basic into something incredibly bizarre. I feel like this is the most true sequel to Rocky IV, as the only way for a boxing match to have greater consequence than ending The Cold War is for a match to literally save the universe.

For bad movie fans, Arena is a good deep cut to check out. I think it would make a pretty good pairing with Robot Jox given the similar sports-movie styles, though Robot Jox is definitely the better movie of the two.

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C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud

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C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud

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Today’s feature is truly one of the most unnecessary and strange sequels of all time: C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud.

C.H.U.D. II was written by Ed Naha, who also penned such movies as Troll and Dolls. However, he did so under a pseudonym: M. Kane Jeeves. The fact that a man who was willing to have his name on Dolls and Troll declined credit for C.H.U.D. II should say a lot about the sort of movie we are dealing with here.

The film was directed David Irving, who has directed such films as (Night of the Cyclone, Rumpelstiltskin, Sleeping Beauty). However, he had no previous experience with directing horror movies.

The cinematographer for C.H.U.D. II was Arnie Smith, who has primarily worked on biographical documentaries like Aldous Huxley: Darkness and Light, Bogart: The Untold Story, and The Unknown Peter Sellers.

The film’s editor was Barbara Pokras, who cut such memorable films as The Giant Spider Invasion and The Return of The Living Dead.

The producers for C.H.U.D. II included Lawrence Kasanoff (Mortal Kombat, Foodfight!, Class of 1999, Blood Diner), Jonathan Krane (Face/Off, Battlefield Earth, Swordfish), Simon Lewis (Look Who’s Talking), and Anthony Santa Croce (Monk, Tales From The Darkside)

The music for C.H.U.D. II was composed by Nicholas Pike, who worked on scores for a number of episodes of Masters of Horror (including Pick Me Up), Freddy’s Nightmares, It’s Alive (2008), and Critters 2.

The C.H.U.D. II effects team included Allan Apone (Evilspeak, Galaxy of Terror, Going Overboard, Deep Blue Sea), Douglas White (Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders, UHF), Michael Spatola (Iron Man 3, Going Overboard), Bryan Moore (Dolls, Tremors II), Tim Huchthausen (Blind Fury, 1941), and John Fifer (Return to Horror High, Cyber Tracker).

The cast for C.H.U.D. II includes Gerrit Graham (Child’s Play 2, Chopping Mall), Brian Robbins (Head of the Class), Tricia Leigh Fisher (Book of Love), Robert Vaughn (Bullitt, The Magnificent Seven, Battle Beyond The Stars), Larry Cedar (The Gingerdead Man), Larry Linville (M*A*S*H), and June Lockhart (Troll, Deadly Games, Lost In Space).

chudii3The plot of C.H.U.D. II centers around a sole surviving experimental C.H.U.D., which was synthesized by the military from the original race of Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers in an attempt to create a super-soldier. However, the project was scrapped, and “Bud” was left in the care of a Center for Disease Control. At the beginning of the story, Bud is accidentally freed by some teenagers, after which he begins creating a new army of C.H.U.D.s, and generally causes havoc for the local townsfolk.

The reception to C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud was definitively negative at the time, though it has a bit of a cult following now. Currently, it holds an IMDb rating of 3.6, which is still impressively low.

chudii4This flick astoundingly takes place in a totally different genre from C.H.U.D., and the monsters don’t look remotely like CHUDs as they were previously depicted. There is just no way that this movie was originally written as a sequel to C.H.U.D., because there are just too many dramatic differences. To be generous, CHUD II is to CHUD what Return of the Living Dead is to Night of the Living Dead: the movies are not really related, though the previous film is nodded at here and there in the story of the “sequel”.

Speaking of which, what value was there to the C.H.U.D. name that it made sense to brand this random zombie comedy? It was a bit of a cult classic, but it was never a cash cow or particularly beloved to the point of being worth a sequel. Honestly, this makes more sense as a Weekend at Bernie’s sequel, and would probably be funnier that way. The protagonists in this movie spend a lot of time trying to use Bud to get a good grade in a science class, which fits way better in a silly comedy franchise than the sequel to grimy cannibal movie.

chudii2Regarding the monsters themselves, the CHUDs in C.H.U.D. II are really unimpressive. The zombie makeup here is mostly just pale foundation, eye pits, and messed up teeth. The original CHUDs are still cheap, but they are at least a bit eerie with their contorted faces and lantern eyes. There isn’t even an attempt to recreate them here.

I couldn’t very well forget to talk about the music in this movie, which is absolutely ridiculous. Bud, the Alpha CHUD, gets his own theme song, which plays constantly throughout the movie whenever the character is on screen.

Speaking of Bud, the character is far more intelligent and thoughtful than it was ever implied that CHUDs could be. This may be due to him being a synthesized, experimental super-soldier rather than a natural CHUD, but I personally think that was just a plot convenience used to explain away any inconsistencies with the first film. However, it is pretty funny to think of Bud the super-soldier CHUD dressed up as Captain America.

This isn’t an easy flick to recommend. It isn’t particularly fun as a comedy or as a b-movie, and clearly didn’t have a whole lot of care put into it. That said, it is certainly cheesy and hammy, and is probably worth giving a shot for bad movie fans. I just wouldn’t go in with any kind of high expectations, because this isn’t anywhere close to being a good-bad elite flick. Just in the realm of zombie comedies, there are far better options out there to dig up.

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Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

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Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

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Today’s feature is the particularly infamous bad movie Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2.

The two writers on Baby Geniuses 2 were Gregory Poppen (Chilly Christmas, The Prince and The Surfer, The Million Dollar Kid) and producer Steven Paul (Baby Geniuses, Karate Dog, Never Too Young to Die).

Baby Geniuses 2 was directed by Bob Clark, who is best known for directing movies like A Christmas Story, Rhinestone, Black Christmas, and Porky’s. Baby Geniuses 2 was sadly the last film he would direct, as he died in a car wreck shortly after the film wrapped.

The editor for Baby Geniuses 2 was Stan Cole, who also cut Baby Geniuses, Rhinestone, and Black Christmas for director Bob Clark.

Aside from co-writer Steven Paul, the producers for Baby Geniuses 2 included Eric Breiman (Bratz: The Movie), Jan Fantl (Slipstream (2005), Feardotcom), Rosanne Milliken (Tucker and Dale vs. Evil), Reinhild Graber (Boat Trip, Dracula 3000), and David Marlow (Lexx).

The music for the movie was provided in part by Paul Zaza, who has also provided scores for films like My Bloody Valentine, Prom Night, Porky’s, and A Christmas Story.

The Baby Geniuses 2 makeup effects team was composed of such people as Agnieszka Echallier (In The Name of The King, Hollow Man 2), Joel Echallier (Postal, Air Buddies, Dreamcatcher, Blade: Trinity), Julianne Kaye (Jack Frost 2), and Joan Issacson (Street Smart, Jacknife).

The special effects work on Baby Geniuses 2 was done by a group including Rory Cutler (The Mangler 2, Jennifer’s Body, The Fly II), Brant McIlroy (Scary Movie, Catwoman), Vittorio Palmisani (Fido, The Chronicles of Riddick), Cara E. Anderson (Marmaduke, Trucks, The Core), CJ Wills (Miracle), and Neil Westlake (Smokin’ Aces 2, Big Nothing, The Last Mimzy).

The massive visual effects team for Baby Geniuses 2 included elements from such films as Thor, Ghost Rider, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, Elysium, Into The Storm, Josie & The Pussycats, Resident Evil, Deep Blue Sea, Baby Geniuses, Spider Man 3, Jingle All The Way, Hot Fuzz, Thunderpants, Spice World, Drag Me To Hell, and Event Horizon.

The cast of Baby Geniuses 2 includes Jon Voight (Bratz: The Movie, Anaconda, Deliverance), Scott Baio (Charles in Charge), Vanessa Angel (Kingpin), Peter Wingfield (Catwoman), Justin Chatwin (Dragonball: Evolution), and Skyler Shaye (Bratz: The Movie).

babygeniusestwo2The plot of Baby Geniuses 2 follows a group of young babies who stay at a local daycare, and speak in a mysterious baby language. They tell the story of a mythical Superbaby called ‘The Kahuna’, who appears to them shortly afterwards in order to foil an evil plot unfolding under their noses. With the help of their babysitter, the babies get kidnapped by Kahuna and are taken to his Willy Wonka-esque hideout, where they are subsequently turned into superheroes. Eventually the plot ends, and everyone is supposedly happy as all of the children’s memories are wiped.

Baby Geniuses 2 has become a mainstay at the bottom of the IMDb’s Bottom 100, and has held the bottom slot on more than a few occasions. As of this writing, it is sitting at #15 in the ranking.

Baby Geniuses 2 shockingly wound up spawning multiple sequels: Baby Geniuses and The Mystery of the Crown Jewels (2013), Baby Geniuses and The Treasures of Egypt (2014), and Baby Geniuses and The Space Baby (2015). As I understand it, all of these films follow characters established in Baby Geniuses 2 rather than Baby Geniuses, which have very little relationship to each other from a plot perspective.

Baby Geniuses 2 wound up with a total of 4 Golden Raspberry nominations, which are given out as a dishonor for the worst films and performances of the year. It racked up nominations for Worst Director, Worst Picture, Worst Supporting Actor, and Worst Screenplay, but it astoundingly did not win any of them, as they were primarily taken by Catwoman and Fahrenheit 9/11.

Baby Geniuses 2 had a budget of roughly $20 million, though it grossed less than $10 million in its theatrical release, making it a significant financial failure.

The reception to Baby Geniuses 2 was overwhelmingly negative: it currently holds a 1.9 on IMDb, along with scores of 0% (critics) and 19% (audience) on the movie review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes.

The bad visual effects and stunts work throughout Baby Geniuses 2 come fast and furious, and just look awful. The effects are all emphasized far too much for a movie that really didn’t require their presence at all. While the fighting scenes are laughable in their incompetence at first, that novelty dries up pretty fast as the movie drags on.

babygeniusestwo1The worst offense in this movie (in my opinion) is the dubbing work done over the babies, who were clearly directed to just randomly move their mouths. Any time you are relying on child actors you are running a big risk for your movie, but the fact that this was riding on baby actors absolutely doomed it (just like its predecessor). Unless you turn to butter at the sight of blithering babies, it is unbearable to watch.

If there is anything memorable about this movie, it is Jon Voight and his ridiculous fake accent. Voight certainly hams up his role to the max in truly bizarre fashion, but that is unfortunately hardly enough to make this movie watchable.

As far as the writing goes in the movie, there is a pathetic attempt at a plot twist that anyone over 5 could spot from a mile away. There is also a half-assed attempt to preach about how awful and lazy watching television causes people to be through the plot, while the movie is simultaneously a mind-numbingly awful movie. The dialogue is almost forgivable, given that babies are supposed to be the ones speaking for most of the film, but there are a number of instances where their vocabulary is far more advanced than it should be, throwing a wrench into any semblance of consistency in the dialogue writing. Most of the attempts at humor relate to poop and/or diapers, a topic which is retread over and over again throughout the film.

Whoopi Goldberg has a perplexing and unnecessary cameo in this movie that I still can’t quite wrap my brain around. She plays herself, and is apparently part of a network of militarized babies (or something), which makes exactly as much sense as it sounds like it does.

There is something that has bugged me ever since I first saw this movie: who was the intended audience for it supposed to be? I’m not sure if this would actually entertain children or babies, as it seems to emphasize the babies being supposedly cute more than anything else. I suppose if you are one of those people that turns to mush whenever you see a baby, this movie might actually have been made for you. In all seriousness, if watching babies be babies for an hour and a half seems like a raucous good time to you, then this movie is totally up your alley, and you should have at it.

For everyone else out there, I highly recommend not watching this movie. It is a horrible mess of a film with no redeeming qualities outside of Jon Voight, who might be worth looking up some clips of. I do suspect that there is a meta-plot to this movie about how it is actually capable of killing your brain cells, just in case you are the sort of person who wants to read too deeply into a movie about babies. However, I assume that I’m probably alone there.

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Going Overboard

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Going Overboard

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Today’s feature is the often-forgotten early Adam Sandler vehicle, Going Overboard.

Going Overboard was directed and co-written by Valerie Breiman, who went on to direct Bikini Squad and Love & Sex. Her co-writers were stars Adam Sandler and Scott LaRose, as well as the uncredited Adam Rifkin (Small Soldiers, Mousehunt, The Invisible Maniac), who also produced the film and appears in the movie.

The cinematographer on Going Overboard was Ron Jacobs, who, since 2000, has only worked in film as a driver and transportation manager. The editor for the film, Randy D. Wiles, has primarily worked on television shows over the years, like Quantum Leap, JAG, NCIS, and Tequila & Bonetti.

The music for Going Overboard was composed by Steven Scott Smalley, who has primarily worked as an orchestrator on films like Iron Eagle, RoboCop, Tommy Boy, Starship Troopers, Tiptoes, and Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

The special effects makeup for Going Overboard was done by a team that included Michael Spatola (Iron Man 3, Little Monsters, Never Too Young To Die), Allan Apone (CHUD II: Bud the Chud, UHF, Deep Blue Sea, The Avengers), and Mary Brando (Bachelor Party).

The cast of Going Overboard includes Adam Sandler (Jack & Jill, Grown Ups, Billy Madison), Billy Zane (Titanic, The Phantom, Critters, The Brotherhood of Justice), Billy Bob Thornton (The Ice Harvest, Sling Blade, The Man Who Wasn’t There), Scott LaRose (The Sixth Man, Booty Call), Ricky Paull Goldin (Piranha II), and Peter Berg (Battleship, Aspen Extreme, Shocker, Hancock).

The plot of Going Overboard follows an aspiring comedian working on a commercial cruise ship, who desperate tries to figure out the secrets to effect stand up comedy and self confidence.

Adam Sandler to this day doesn’t acknowledge the existence of this film, and doesn’t list it among the credits on his website. Considering the quality of movies that he is willing to claim, that speaks volumes about how bad Going Overboard really is.

Going Overboard is widely loathed by audiences and critics alike, and currently holds a rating of 1.9 on IMDb, landing it in the website’s Bottom 100 films. The Rotten Tomatoes audience score isn’t any better: an abysmal 11%.

First off, the cinematography on the film is just horrible, though part of that is justifiably due to the production trying to film the movie in the cramped confines of a cruise ship, which certainly isn’t conducive to it. However, there are long shots and bad angles that go much deeper than just the difficulties of the environment. The fact that the cinematographer didn’t wind up with any other credits is no surprise given the product here.

Going Overboard does a lot of unnecessary fourth wall breaking, with most of the instances acting as transitions or outright apologies for the poor quality of the film. The film literally starts with Adam Sandler breaking character to explain that the movie had no budget, and tries to lower audience expectations out of the gate. The fourth wall is later broken in desperate attempts for laughs throughout the film, but it never really works.

goingoverboard4It is interesting to see a pre-Saturday Night Live Sandler trying to take on a leading role. He is just as bad as he always is, but in a different sort of way. He clearly isn’t used to the spotlight in Going Overboard, and looks obviously uncomfortable with the camera on him. He also hasn’t worked out his trademark comedic cadence, though flashes of it pop up here and there throughout the story.If there is any trivial worth to the movie, it is to see how Sandler has managed to develop into his modern persona.

It doesn’t seem like anyone in the cast or crew of Going Overboard was putting in any real effort here. While the film was obviously filmed in a rush, it generally feels as if the motivation behind this movie is that the team wanted to go on a cruise together, and film along the way when they could.

goingoverboard2For being as despised as it is, I actually found Going Overboard to be mostly watchable. It isn’t funny, and it definitely has plenty of technical and writing issues, but the team behind the film clearly wasn’t working with anything to start with, and didn’t much care about putting out a quality product at the end of the day. So, it is hard to have any kind of expectations for this flick: it is basically a home movie. I’m not sure if the self-aware aspect of the film helps it or hurts it, but I do know that this is a film I would still take over anything in Uwe Boll’s or Uli Lommel’s filmographies. Basically, there are far worse movies out there.

I actually think that there is a potentially funny movie hidden inside of this film somewhere. I could imagine this plot with someone like Louis CK, a genuinely talented self-loathing comedian, as a cruise ship waiter who is down on his luck, with dreams of doing stand up comedy. I could see an effectively brash comedian like Dennis Leary or Dennis Miller as the washed up antagonist comic, relegated from his banner years to doing a cruise ship show. Seriously, there is a potential movie there.

The thing that makes this movie stand out, over anything else, is the inclusion of countless unnecessary characters. For instance, the Greek God Poseidon and infamous dictator General Noriega both feature prominently as characters in the movie. The plot also manages to go completely off the rails, eventually featuring a Panamanian hit squad that has a deep love of stand-up comedy. The movie ends with Adam Sandler hooking up with the demigod daughter of Poseidon, and the rival comic
drowning after being tossed overboard in what is essentially a mutiny. That sounds more like the way you would end some sort of Greco-Roman epic, not an Adam Sandler comedy vehicle.

goingoverboard3The bizarreness of the ending to this film, coupled with the unique incompetence behind the scenes, actually makes this whole mess relatively interesting to watch, in the same way that dissecting a mutated squirrel from Chernobyl might be.

I certainly can’t heavily recommend this movie, but it is one of the few bad comedy movies that I have ever gone back to rewatch. Most bad comedies try too hard to be funny, whereas this mess suffers from the exact opposite problem. It is certainly a unique movie, and I would at least recommend watching it for no other reason than that Adam Sandler doesn’t want you to.

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Extra-Terrestrial Visitors

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Extra-Terrestrial Visitors

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Today’s feature is an E.T. knockoff called Extra Terrestrial Visitors, through it is better known by many as The Pod People.

The Pod People was directed and co-written by Juan Piquer Simon, who was also behind such films as Slugs: The Movie, Pieces, and The Rift. His co-writer was Joaquín Grau, who previously worked with Simon on Los Diablos Del Mar and Mystery On Monster Island.

The film featured two credited cinematographers: Ricardo Navarrete, a camera operator who worked on Solarbabies, Conan The Barbarian, and Guns of the Magnificent Seven, and Juan Mariné, who shot Pieces and The Rift for the director, Juan Simon.

The editor for The Pod People was Antonio Gimeno, who also cut The Werewolf vs. The Vampire Woman, Mario Bava’s Planet of the Vampires, and Slugs: The Movie.

The memorable music in The Pod People was composed by the duo of Michael Demer and Librado Pastor, neither of whom have any other significant film score composition credits.

The effects work on the film was done by Pedro Camacho (Slugs: The Movie, Pieces, Zorro) and Basilio Cortijo (Battle of the Bulge, The Trojan Women, Cthulhu Mansion).

The plot to The Pod People is immensely complicated, and follows a number of different threads. The main plot follows a young boy who discovers a mysterious egg in the woods, which he takes home with him. It soon hatches into a juvenile alien with telekinetic powers, leading to an assortment of shenanigans. Elsewhere in the woods, a traveling rock band comes across the adult alien that laid the egg, leading to an entirely separate series of shenanigans (that involves a lot more murder).

The movie was featured under the title of The Pod People in the third season of the cult television show Mystery Science Theater 3000, which has significantly contributed to the film’s popularity, and spread the use of The Pod People as its primary title.

Speaking of which, The Pod People is known by a ton of different release titles: Extra-Terrestrial Visitors, Tales of Trumpy, The Return of E.T., Visitor, and The New Extraterrestrials among them.

The reception to The Pod People online is significantly poor, likely due to its popular association with Mystery Science Theater 3000. It currently sits in the IMDb Bottom 100 with a rating of 2.1, and has a Rotten Tomatoes audience score of 15%.

The Pod People suffers immensely from a lack of focus, as it tries to balance two movie concepts that are diametrically opposed to each other. When it comes down to it, this movie should either have been primarily a child-friendly romp with a baby alien, or a cut-and-dry sci-fi alien slasher, but not both. This is clearly a case where the crew assumed the flick could be everything to everyone, but it just couldn’t pull it off.

The music throughout The Pod People is absolutely awful, but it is also probably the single biggest reason the movie is so memorable. The ambient synthesizer tones that play throughout the film are only matched by the ridiculous rock tune, “Hear The Engines Roll Now,” and MST3K crew managed to have fun mocking all of it.

extraterr1To the crew’s credit, the alien designs in The Pod People are certainly not what you would expect, and wind up looking genuinely unique without breaking the budget of the movie. The elephant-Sasquatches are still cheesy without any doubt, but you aren’t going to confuse them with any other movie monsters out there.

Bad editing and poorly paced screenwriting combines to keep The Pod People from ever getting a steady flow or rhythm to it, which makes it all the harder to sit through. The two main plot threads take a long while to converge, and the movie bounces between them a bit too much until they do ultimately wind up combining. I’m sure the crew didn’t realize at the time just how jarring it would all wind up being, but you would think that the editing would work to salvage the product moreso than it did.

As far as plot details go, I still don’t understand why Trumpy is telekinetic. The power doesn’t come into play at any other point, apart from to showcase some cheesy effects, and I can’t think of any practical use of the power for an adult alien. Trumpy’s mother also never seems to use it, which brings into question whether the adult aliens have the power at all.

Overall, this can be a pretty fun bad movie to watch if you have the patience to get through the halfway point. Once the two main plot lines converge, the pacing gets more bearable through to the conclusion. That said, without the MST3K commentary, the stretch of the movie between “Hear The Engines Roll Now” and the plot convergence is nearly unfathomably boring. That said, the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode on the movie is one of their best, and is worth checking out.

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The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies

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The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies

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Today’s flick is the infamous monster movie musical, The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies.

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies was directed and produced by Ray Dennis Steckler, who was also behind such movies as The Sexorcist, The Horny Vampire, The Mad Love Life of a Hot Vampire, and, no kidding, How to Make A Sex Movie. He also played the protagonist in The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies under a pseudonym: Cash Flagg. The credited screenplay writers for the movie were Gene Pollock (The Thrill Killers) and Robert Silliphant (The Creeping Terror, The Beach Girls and The Monster).

The cinematographer for The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies was Joseph V. Mascelli, who also shot the b-movies The Thrill Killers and Wild Guitar, and went on to direct the classic bad movie The Atomic Brain.

The film’s editor was Don Schneider, whose only other feature film editing credit was another classically terrible b-movie, Eegah.

The memorable music for The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies was done by Libby Quinn, who has no other film score composition credits, and Andre Brummer, who worked on films like Eegah, Monster From The Ocean Floor, Mudhoney, and something called Fertilize the Blaspheming Bombshell.

The makeup effects work on The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies was done by one Tom Scherman, who went on to do miniature and visual effects work on movies like Robot Jox, The Crater Lake Monster, and Flesh Gordon.

mixedup2The plot of The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies centers around a musical carnival, where a young man is cursed into becoming a murderous zombie by the carnival’s fortune teller. This leads him to go on a killing rampage, taking out many of the teenaged attendees at the carnival.

The original title for the film was reportedly supposed to be The Incredibly Strange Creature: Or Why I Stopped Living and Became a Mixed-up Zombie, but Columbia pictures threatened a lawsuit due to the similarity of it to the full title of Dr. Strangelove, a significant hit by Stanley Kubrick that released the previous year. The director, Ray Dennis Steckler, also said that Face of Evil was an early working title.

Speaking of alternate titles, the film wound up releasing under a handful of different titles over the years: The Incredibly Mixed-Up Zombie, Diabolical Dr. Voodoo, and The Teenage Psycho Meets Bloody Mary among them.

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies was famously featured on a season 8 episode of the popular bad movie television show Mystery Science Theater 3000, which exposed it to a much wider audience than it ever had before.

Primarily because of the film’s appearance on MST3K, it has a very negative reception on internet review aggregators: it currently has a 2.2 rating on IMDb (qualifying it for the IMDb’s Bottom 100), and Rotten Tomatoes scores of 20% (critics) and 14% (audience).

For the life of me, I don’t understand why on earth this movie had to be a musical. All of the numbers are distracting, poorly shot, horribly executed, and they drag out the plot much longer than it has any need to go. I never thought I would praise Girl in Gold Boots, but that movie looks like a professional musical production compared to this mess. The best guess that I have is that the music was the gimmick intended to get audiences into the theater, but I’m not really sure what the common population of monster movie fans and musicals was at the time to draw from.

The costuming throughout the movie is surprisingly dull given the setting of the story at a carnival. The makeup on the antagonist is way over the top, however. Personally, I think costuming and makeup needs to be an all or nothing thing: you can half-ass it or go all the way, but mixing it up makes the movie look and feel inconsistent.

The cinematography in this movie is just straight bad. There are point of view roller coaster shots that are excessively shaky to the point of causing nausea, and moments where superimposed images are placed on top of other superimposed images in an attempt to create a surreal effect. Worst of all, the musical performance sequences are just inexcusably poorly shot for something billed as a musical, staying generally out of focus and distant. My favorite cinematography goof in the movie, however, is the sharply-angled palm reading sequence, which the MST3K guys hilariously riffed without saying a word: they all just leaned dramatically in a given direction to imitate the shot.

The pacing of the plot was the real coffin nail for this movie in my opinion. It has musical numbers chained to both ankles that drag it down immensely, and the result is a film that can barely hobble through its run time. Outside of the musical performances, there are plenty of other scenes that run too long, and plenty of footage that isn’t necessary at all for the plot. I think this  movie could be recut into something slightly better, but the best editor in the world could only really improve it so much. There just isn’t quite enough decent content in this flick for a full-length, quality movie.

All of that said, I do like the premise the the story. Pre-Romero zombie movies are interesting to bump into, and pull from the classic zombie lore that is mostly forgotten by cinema nowadays. This story in particular sticks to the mind control and voodoo aspects of classic zombieism, and might have been a good horror movie with a different director, writer, cast, and with 100% less musical numbers. So, it might have been ok if it were a different movie entirely.

Some people out there rave about this movie as an elite good-bad flick, but I’ve always found it immensely boring, even with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. The highlights are worth checking out (mostly the musical numbers), but I wouldn’t personally recommend sitting through the whole thing.

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Pumaman

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Pumaman

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Today’s feature is undoubtedly one of the worst superhero movies of all time: 1980’s Pumaman.

Pumaman was directed and co-written by Alberto De Martino, who was also behind such low-budget fare as Holocaust 2000, Miami Golem, Dirty Heroes, and Gladiators 7. The other credited writers on the film were Massimo De Rita (Blood in the Streets, Everybody’s Fine) and Luigi Angelo (Black Killer).

The cinematographer for Pumaman was Mario Vulpiani, who primarily worked on Italian movies throughout his career. However, he did wind up shooting Stuart Gordon’s cult classic H.P. Lovecraft adaptation, Castle Freak.

pumaman1The editor on Pumaman was Vincenzo Tomassi, who frequently worked for Lucio Fulci on films like The Beyond, Zombie, and The New York Ripper. He also cut the infamous film Cannibal Holocaust, as well as the monster movies Killer Crocodile and Killer Crocodile 2.

The music for Pumaman was provided by Renato Serio, who also composed the score for 1982’s Alone in the Dark. The theme song to Pumaman might be the most notorious and memorable aspect of the movie next to the hilarious flying effects, and I wish everyone luck in trying to get the song out of your heads.

The cast of Pumaman included Donald Pleasance (Halloween, The Great Escape, Escape From New York, Warrior of the Lost World, Django 2), Walter George Alton (Heavenly Bodies), and Miguel Angel Fuentes (Fitzcarraldo, Herod’s Law).

The plot of Pumaman centers around a young man who is given an assortment of super-powers by Aztec gods / an amulet / aliens / his genetics, and has to hunt down a sinister madman who is trying to use an enchanted mask for nefarious purposes.

It has been reported that Donald Pleasance regarded Pumaman as the worst movie he ever participated in, though I haven’t been able to dig up a source on that outside of the IMDb trivia section.

Pumaman is primarily known by bad movie fans because it was featured in a 1998 episode of the hit show Mystery Science Theater 3000, which was known for digging b-movies out of obscurity to comedic effect.

The star of the film, Walter George Alton, is apparently now a medical malpractice attorney in New York City, and has left his acting career well behind him, having only featured in a handful of flicks aside from Pumaman.

The reception to Pumaman, particularly following being featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, was hugely negative. It currently has a 30% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes, along with an impressive 2.1 rating on IMDb, ranking it in the Bottom 100 films on the website (which is how I initially came across it).

The attempted flying effect in this movie is just pathetic, to the point of being absolutely hilarious. It is something that you honestly need to see to believe. There are a number of other thoroughly unimpressive attempts at special effects scattered throughout the movie, including a spaceship that looks either looks like the Monarch’s cocoon from The Venture Bros or a Christmas ornament, depending on who you ask.

pumaman2The acting is unsurprisingly sub-par throughout Pumaman, but Donald Pleasence does ham up his role quite a bit. There are a number of moments where you can tell that he knows how bad this movie is going to be when all is said and done, but he still puts effort into it regardless. It is also worth mentioning that it has to be difficult to effectively act when you are having to peek out from behind a giant, ridiculous mask prop for nearly the whole movie.

pumaman3The story to Pumaman makes very little sense. For instance, I’m still not clear on why the main character is a “puma” man, given his powers involve teleportation, flying, and (oddly) faking suicide. Are those typical puma behaviors that I just wasn’t aware of? It is also a bit unclear as to what the origins of his powers are. While it seems that they are granted to him from aliens, it is also mentioned that the powers are somehow hereditary, which doesn’t make much sense to me.

Overall, Pumaman contains a fantastic brew of honest incompetence that generates a genuinely entertaining product. It is absolutely terrible in every technical aspect I can think of, which makes it a bafflingly hilarious experience to watch. It confusedly stumbles its way through the run time, and never fails to be a spectacle of low-budget determination devoid of talent. For fans of bad movies, this is an essential flick to check out, with or without the accompaniment of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Water Foul

Water Foul: The Last Shark

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The Last Shark

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Today’s entry into the “Water Foul” spotlight on awful aquatic monster flicks is The Last Shark, likely the most notorious of the Jaws knock-offs.

The Last Shark had three credited writers: Vincenzo Mannino (Hallucination Strip, Murder-Rock: Dancing Death, The New York Ripper), Marc Princi (The Squeeze, Terror Stalks The Class Reunion), and producer Ugo Tucci (Zombie, Once Upon A Time In The West).

The director of The Last Shark was Enzo Castellari, who also directed 1990: The Bronx Warriors, The Inglorious Bastards, Keoma, and The Shark Hunter.

The cinematographer for the film was Alberto Spagnoli, who shot such films as the Italian Lou Ferrigno Hercules movies and Peter Bogdanovich’s Daisy Miller.

The editor for the movie was Gianfranco Amicucci, who also cut a number of Castellari’s other films, including Keoma, The Inglorious Bastards, and 1990: The Bronx Warriors. He also went on to edit a number of Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust) movies, including The Washing Machine and Mom I Can Do It.

The music for The Last Shark was composed by Guido and Maurizio De Angelis, who contributed scores to a number of other low-budget features like The Shark Hunter, Keoma, and Alien 2: On Earth.

Aside from co-writer Ugo Tucci, the producers for The Last Shark were Maurizio Amati (Cannibal Apocalypse), Sandro Amati (The New Gladiators), and Edward Montoro (Pieces, Pod People, Anthropophagus, Grizzly).

The makeup and special effects for The Last Shark were done by Giovanni Morosi (Inglorious Bastards, Escape From The Bronx) and Antonio Corridori (Mission Impossible III, Piranha II, U-571, The Italian Job).

The cast of The Last Shark included James Franciscus (Beneath The Planet Of The Apes), Joshua Sinclair (Judgment in Berlin, 1990: The Bronx Warriors, Keoma), Vic Morrow (1990: The Bronx Warriors, Twilight Zone: The Movie), Giancarlo Prete (Bad Cop Chronicles, Escape From The Bronx), and Stefania Goodwin (1990: The Bronx Warriors, Super Mario Bros.).

The plot of The Last Shark surrounds a string of shark attack deaths off the coast of a tourist town, but an ambitious local politician refuses to close the beaches due to an upcoming wind-surfing event. After the event turns into a tragedy, the whole town goes into a frenzy trying to catch and kill the crazed, monstrous shark.

As you might suspect from that plot synopsis, The Last Shark was marketed as a Jaws sequel in a handful of foreign markets, while being titled Great White for its release in the United States. Regardless, Universal Pictures filed a lawsuit against the production for being too similar to Jaws, which led to an injunction and the film being pulled from theaters.

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A sequel to The Last Shark was at one point planned, but the shark was too heavily damaged during the production to re-use, and it was decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble to create a new one.

The reception to The Last Shark was roundly negative: it currently holds a 4.6 rating on IMDb, alongside a 35% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.

I wasn’t able to dig up a number for the budget on The Last Shark, but I assume it was pretty low. Primarily due to piggy-backing on the popularity of Jaws, the film grossed 18 million in its United States theatrical run (despite being pulled from theaters), making it significantly profitable on the whole.

lastshark3To the credit of the politician character in this movie, he at least does more than the mayor in Jaws. Instead of outright refusing to acknowledge the shark attacks, he surrounds the beach with shark-proof netting to provide a sense of security for the locals participating in the wind-surfing event. Of course, this doesn’t wind up working, but it is certainly more effort than doing nothing.

The music for this movie is all over the place, and even opens with an upbeat and pop-inspired number. It just doesn’t fit with what should be a thriller or adventurous soundtrack, and is a huge departure from the classic Jaws score.

Most of times the shark is shown on screen in The Last Shark, it is done with stock footage. However, a mechanical shark is used occasionally, and looks absolutely terrible. They would have been better off just not bothering with underwater footage of the replicated shark at all.

All of that said, there is some extensive miniature work in this movie that, in my opinion, doesn’t look excessively terrible, particularly when compared to the CGI shark nonsense we get today. At one point the shark takes out a helicopter, which is simultaneously awesome and hilarious. However, nothing stands out quite as much as the ultimate shark death at the end of the movie.

Overall, The Last Shark is a pretty entertaining watch, particularly for fans of Jaws. The film is so not-subtle about being a knockoff that sequences are basically lifted straight out of Jaws and thrown into this movie. It is certainly understandable why Universal wasn’t thrilled about this movie, because it takes more than a few steps too far. As far as entertainment value goes, the shark and miniature effects are hilarious, and the actor playing not-Quint is pretty entertaining. This is a movie worth digging up if you want to watch an old school cheap shark movie that wasn’t made by Syfy and The Asylum.

Water Foul

Water Foul: Octaman

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Octaman

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Today’s movie is Octaman, which features a human-octopus hybrid suit designed by repeat Academy Award winner Rick Baker.

Octaman was written, directed, and produced by Harry Essex, who was also behind such films as It Came From Outer Space and Creature From The Black Lagoon.

The cinematographer on the film was Robert Caramico, who also shot numerous episodes of the television shows Just Shoot Me and Dallas, the Fred Williamson blaxploitation western Boss (that’s, uh, not the original title), and Ted V. Mikels’s The Black Klansman.

The effects team for the movie included Academy Award winner Rick Baker (An American Werewolf in London, Men in Black, Ed Wood, Wolf, Videodrome, It’s Alive, It Lives Again, Black Caesar), Doug Beswick (Aliens, The Terminator, Evil Dead II, Ghostbusters), and Ron Kinney (Wild Riders, The Cremators). Beswick and Baker specifically designed the Octaman suit, under the belief that it would be kept in shadows and obscured for most of the film. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

octaman4The cast of Octaman included Pier Angeli (Battle of the Bulge, The Angry Silence), Jeff Morrow (This Island Earth, The Giant Claw, The Creature Walks Among Us), and Kerwin Mathews (Jack The Giant Killer, The 7th Voyage of Sinbad).

The story of Octaman is delightfully straightforward: a team of scientists stumbles upon a mysterious mutated hybrid of an octopus and a human, and the creature proceeds to make all of their lives miserable and significantly shorter.

Footage of Octaman shows up under a variety of different titles in movies like Gremlins 2 and Fright Night, as an homage both to the influence of Rick Baker as an effects master, and as a throwback to traditional, b-level horror and monster movies.

octaman1The reception to Octaman was unsurprisingly negative, and it currently holds a 3.5 rating on IMDb, alongside a 23% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.

The budget for the movie was reportedly $250,000, which is a pretty astounding microbudget. However, the product on screen holds true to the saying “you get what you pay for.”

Octaman is a movie that feels, looks, and sounds misplaced in time. The movie could have been made any time from the tail end of the 1950s to (particularly cheaply) in the 1980s, and I don’t think it would look or sound all that different. It is a curiosity of a film that rides the line between being an homage and legitimately being the thing that it is trying to send up (honestly, I’m still not 100% sure which this is).

octaman3The suit itself is probably the most impressive aspect of the movie given the budget, but the way it is shot and used is just hilariously awful. It is a real testament to the importance of cinematography and editing when it comes to movies with practical monsters, because the way it is shown on screen makes all the difference between it being intimidating and it being impossibly goofy.

Speaking of which, the lighting throughout the movie is astoundingly terrible, and most of it comes off looking like incomprehensible blackness (except for the monster, the one thing that should be kept a bit obscured). For most of the film, it is a chore to parse out what the hell is supposed to be happening on screen, because all of the colors used are on a scale of pitch black to relatively dark blue.

Octaman uses a few moments of monster point-of-view shots, which popped up here and there throughout the history of b-movies. However, it became particular famous for its use in highly-acclaimed, b-movie influenced films like Jaws, Predator, and Halloween.

The only real highlight to the film comes when a plot is executed to capture the monster by confusing it with strobe lights and encircling it with fire, in order to “burn up the oxygen all around him.” Astoundingly, this works, and the team throws a net over the monster and calls it a day. That part of the plan, however, doesn’t turn out so well.

octaman5Overall, Octaman is a pretty run-of-the-mill, cheaply made b-movie. If not for Rick Baker’s involvement, it would probably only amount to a footnote in the history of bad movies. However, Baker’s participation and future success adds an element of trivia to the movie, which makes it moderately more worth checking out. Personally, I think the movie is pretty dull, but I’d recommend looking up some clips and photos of the suit in action to get an idea of where a 12-time Academy Award nominated (and 7-time winner) effects guru comes from.

Water Foul

Water Foul: Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster

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Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster

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Today’s entry into the “Water Foul” spotlight on the worst aquatic monsters in movie history is 1966’s Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster.

Godzilla vs The Sea Monster was written by Shinichi Sekizawa, the primary writer of the Showa era of Godzilla. His credits include the MST3K-infamous Godzilla vs. Megalon, Godzilla vs. Gigan, Godzilla’s Revenge, King Kong vs. Godzilla, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster, Godzilla vs. Mothra, and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla.

The director for Godzilla vs The Sea Monster was Jun Fukuda. This was his first Godzilla movie, and afterwards he would direct four more in the Showa era of the franchise: Son of Godzilla, Godzilla vs Gigan, Godzilla vs. Megalon, and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla.

The cinematographer on the film was Kazuo Yamada, who also shot Son Of Godzilla, Samurai III, and Samurai Rebellion, as well as Key of Keys, which was used as the source material for Woody Allen’s What’s Up, Tiger Lily?

The editor for Godzilla vs The Sea Monster was Ryohel Fujii, who was yet another Toho regular, cutting such films as Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster, King Kong Escapes, Frankenstein Conquers The World, and Godzilla vs. Monster Zero.

Executive Producer Tomoyuki Tanaka was a producer of the Godzilla franchise from the original Godzilla all the way through the conclusion of the Hesei era, 1995’s Godzilla vs. Destroyah. He also frequently produced movies for Akira Kurosawa, such as Yojimbo, Kagemusha, and Sanjuro.

The music on Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster was done by Masaru Sato, who accrued 236 score composition credits over his illustrious career, including Yojimbo, Throne of Blood, Sanjuro, Godzilla Raids Again, and The Hidden Fortress.

The Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster effects team included Sadamasa Arikawa (Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters, Mothra, Rodan), Sokei Tomioka (Terror of Mechagodzilla, King Kong Escapes, Frankenstein Conquers the World), Taka Yuki (Godzilla, Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster), Fumio Nakadai (Son of Godzilla, Godzilla’s Revenge), Eiji Tsuburaya (Godzilla, Godzilla Raids Again, Throne of Blood, Rodan, Mothra), Teruyoshi Nakano (Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla 1985), and Akira Watanabe (The Green Slime, Godzilla, Godzilla Raids Again, Destroy All Monsters).

The cast of the movie included a number of recognizable faces from other Toho films: Akira Takarada (Godzilla, Godzilla vs. Mothra, King Kong Escapes, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero), Kumi Mizuno (Godzilla: Final Wars, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, Frankenstein Conquers the World), Chôtarô Tôgin (Destroy All Monsters), and Tôru Ibuki (Terror of Mechagodzilla, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero).

The plot of Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster has very little to do with the monsters themselves. A terrorist organization has taken over a small island, and is secretly developing nuclear weapons there. They use a giant shrimp, named Ebirah, to defend the island and prevent any of their captured slaves from escaping. However, they ultimately capture a Japanese citizen, and his family goes hunting after him, ultimately leading to the discovery of the secret base. Serendipitously, Godzilla is found sleeping in a cave nearby, and is awakened to fight Ebirah. Also, Mothra is hanging around on a nearby island (where the slaves were mostly kidnapped from), and eventually shows up to help towards the end of the story.

seamonster1Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster was initially planned to be a King Kong movie, and many of that monster’s trademarks and characteristics remain in the movie. Godzilla’s uncharacteristic obsession with a woman and his awakening via lightning were both associated with King Kong as opposed to the King of the Monsters. The lightning revival came from King Kong vs. Godzilla, which was also due to a last minute monster replacement (King Kong for Frankenstein’s Monster), making the trait all the more confusing.

The Sea Monster itself, Ebirah, is named after the japanese word for shrimp, ‘ebi.’ This essentially confirms that Ebirah is supposed to be a shrimp, though it looks a bit more like a lobster.

Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster interestingly marks the last appearance of a full-grown Mothra in the Showa era of Godzilla, though the larval form pops up again in Destroy All Monsters in 1968.

Mystery Science Theater 3000, the popular bad movie television show, had an episode dedicated to Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster in its second season. The episode immediately followed the more recognizable and terrible Godzilla vs. Megalon, which famously features the robot Jet Jaguar.

The reception to Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster was generally negative, and is regarded as one of the weaker entries into the series. It currently holds a rating of 5.1 on IMDb, along with a 39% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.

First off, Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster definitely focuses far more on the human plot than the monsters, which is bound to be part of why it is so unpopular. Godzilla doesn’t even appear on screen until an hour into the picture. However, the story isn’t super-awful as far as the Showa era of Godzilla is concerned. The terrorist organization isn’t as memorable as sound-prone aliens from Planet X or angry cockroach people, but they serve well enough here.

The monster fighting that does appear in the movie is really lackluster. Ebirah isn’t particularly powerful, and doesn’t have any way to effectively compete with Godzilla, eand ventually gets his claws torn off without much fanfare. There are a couple of other minor battles, such as a skirmish between Godzilla and Mothra and the appearance of a Rodan-like bird monster, but they are both pretty brief and unmemorable. The movie does feature an infamous volleyball fight between Ebirah and Godzilla, which I believe pops up again re-purposed in the even more terrible Godzilla’s Revenge.

seamonster3My favorite part of the film by far is when Ebirah spears two people on one of his claws like a shish kebab, which both looks ridiculous and is kind of jarring. You don’t see the Toho monsters directly kill people very often, though death is heavily implied by their stomping and blasting. It definitely stands out as a highlight moment in the movie, and is one of the few clips worth checking out.

seamonster4Overall, Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster is a pretty mediocre entry in the Showa era of Godzilla. It isn’t particularly over-the-top or entertaining in comparison to the rest of the series, but also isn’t quite amusingly abysmal enough to make sitting through it much fun. The MST3K episode is pretty solid and the background trivia is interesting, so if you want to watch it, I’d recommend going that route with it.