Tag Archives: bad movies

Water Foul: The Shark Hunter

July 10, 2015 Gordon Maples 2 Comments

The Shark Hunter

Today’s feature is a little-known Franco Nero movie from 1979: The Shark Hunter.

The Shark Hunter was written by a team that included Alfredo Gianetti (The Blue Eyed Bandit, Divorce Italian Style), co-producer Jaime Comas Gil (A Fistful of Dollars, Cabo Blanco), Tito Carpi (Escape from the Bronx), Jesus Folgar (Watch Out, We’re Mad) and Gisella Longo (Adam and Eve).

The director of The Shark Hunter, Enzo Castellari, was also behind a number of other low-budget Italian productions like The Last Shark, 1990: The Bronx Warriors, Keoma, and The Inglorious Bastards.

The editor for the film was Gianfranco Amicucci, who also cut Keoma, 1990: The Bronx Warriors, and The Inglorious Barstards for Castellari.

The cinematographer on The Shark Hunter was Raul Perez Cubero, who accrued nearly 100 cinematography and director of photography film credits over his career.

The special effects in The Shark Hunter are credited to Alvaro Passeri, which is, according to IMDb, a pseudonym for producer and director Massimiliano Cerchi, who went on to create such films as Satan Claus and Hellbilly.

The music for The Shark Hunter was composed by Guido and Maurizio De Angelis, who contributed scores to a number of other low-budget features like The Last Shark, Keoma, and Alien 2: On Earth.

The cast of The Shark Hunter includes Franco Nero (Django, Massacre Time, Die Hard II, Omega Code 2), Werner Pochath (Flatfoot in Africa), Jorge Luke (Clear and Present Danger), and Michael Forest (Body of Evidence, Macross Plus, Big O, Mobile Suit Gundam F91).

The reception to The Shark Hunter online is mixed: it currently has a 5.0 rating on IMDb and a 67% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. However, it is certainly not well known, and both of those numbers come off of very small sample sizes.

I usually don’t cover movies that I can’t understand. However, I decided to give this a shot at this one with translated YouTube subtitles. The results were less than stellar.

In spite of the language barrier, I was still able to piece together the gist of the story. Franco Nero stars as a mysterious professional shark hunter with a hidden criminal past, who has taken up on a remote island after the death of his wife. He becomes engulfed in a wild treasure hunt when word starts to spread about a downed aircraft just off shore with a massive load of cash. All of the forces need his input because of his expertise as a shark hunter (the waters around the wreck are infested with sharks), and for his criminal prowess. This places him in the middle of a dangerous web of violent and greedy individuals that start to appear on the island.

The Shark Hunter takes a while to get going, but the last third of the movie is pretty much non-stop. Once all of the invested parties are established and the treasure heist is planned, everything heats up pretty well: there’s a pretty decent boat/plane chase, a bunch of alarmingly realistic shark wrestling. and Franco Nero wearing what I assume is the most ridiculous wigs ever to grace a film. As badass as Nero is throughout the film, that wig of blonde, flowing locks still looks absolutely ludicrous, and steals the show most of the time.

As I mentioned previously, there are a number of sequences in this movie where Franco Nero’s stunt double (I assume) actually wrestles a goddamn shark in the water. I was worried that the movie was about to turn into an unintentional remake of Lucio Fulci’s Zombie, and I’m actually curious as to how they pulled all of the shark wrestling off. Some years earlier, Samuel Fuller had similar stunts in his film Shark! that utilized live, sedated sharks, which tragically resulted in the death of one of the film’s stuntmen. I’d like to think that they didn’t do the same thing here.

I kind of like the plot to this movie (at least the bits that I could understand), and appreciated the way that the crime and heist aspects played into the adventure setting. It made for an interesting sort of genre-bender that took notes from all across the board, synthesizing into something that felt unique.

Overall, this isn’t a particularly awful film, but it certainly isn’t high quality, and suffers from an obviously shoe-string budget. The beginning is far too slow, but the conclusion pretty much makes up for the weaknesses of the first act. The shark wrestling is kind of nerve-wracking because you have to assume that the stunt people were actually in significant danger, which adds an extra element to the movie (for better or worse). I would love to find a legitimately subtitled or dubbed copy of The Shark Hunter, because it was kind of a struggle to get through with the nonsense translations, but it was still compelling enough to get me through it.

Water Foul

Water Foul: Piranha II

July 9, 2015 Gordon Maples Leave a comment

Piranha II: The Spawning

Today, I’m going to be continuing my spotlight of the worst aquatic horror movies with yet another infamous sequel: Piranha II: The Spawning.

Piranha II has three credited screenplay writers: James Cameron (The Terminator, Aliens, The Abyss, Avatar, Titanic), Ovidio Assonitis (The Visitor, Tentacles), and Charles H. Eglee (Dark Angel, Dexter, The Shield). James Cameron is also the sole credited director, however, he reportedly was dismissed and had no control over the editing process, which was dictated by producer and co-writer Ovidio Assonitis. Because of this, there is some question of how much of Cameron’s work actually made it to the screen.

The cinematographer for Piranha II was Roberto Plazzoli, who also shot such films as Starcrash, Midnight Ride, and Tentacles. The editor on Piranha II was Roberto Silvi, who also cut the films Tombstone, Leviathan, and The Ninth Configuration.

The musical score for Piranha II was composed by Stelvio Cipriani, who also created music for the Mario Bava movies Baron Blood and A Bay of Blood, as well as a number of other killer animal flicks like The Great Alligator and Beaks.

Aside from Ovidio Assonitis, the other producers on Piranha II were Chako van Leeuwen (Piranha, Piranha 3D, Piranha 3DD) and Jeff Schechtman (Piranha, Invasion of the Bee Girls, Enter the Dragon, Killing Zoe).

The effects team for Piranha II included Brain Wade (Van Helsing, Wild Wild West, Galaxy of Terror, Jaws 3D), Maurizio Trani (Troll 2, 1990: The Bronx Warriors), Gilberto Carbonaro (Keoma), Mario Cassar (Leviathan, Cutthroat Island, Final Justice), Antonio Corridori (The Italian Job, The Last Shark), Gino De Rossi (Hudson Hawk, Casino Royale, The Inglorious Bastards), and Glannetto De Rossi (Kull The Conqueror, Dune, The Beyond, Zombie).

The cast for Piranha II is primarily made up of Lance Henriksen (The Last Samurai, Aliens, Hard Target, The Terminator), Ricky Paull Goldin (The Blob, All My Children), Carole Davis (Mannequin, The Flamingo Kid), and Steve Marachuk (Eyes of Laura Mars).

The plot of Piranha II follows an investigation into a series of bizarre deaths in the waters around a Caribbean island. While it is at first suspected of being the work of sharks or barracudas, it is eventually discovered that the genetically modified monsters from Piranha have unexpectedly returned, and mutated into having the ability to fly.

James Cameron is outspoken about how much he deeply dislikes the final product of Piranha II, saying the following:

I was replaced after two-and-a-half weeks by the Italian producer. He just fired me and took over, which is what he wanted to do when he hired me. It wasn’t until much later that I even figured out what had happened. It was like, “Oh, man, I thought I was doing a good job.” But when I saw what they were cutting together, it was horrible. In actual fact, I did some directing on the film, but I don’t feel it was my first movie.

Not only was Cameron dismissed before the film was completed and locked out of the editing room, but Miller Drake, who was a trailer cutter alongside Piranha director Joe Dante at Roger Corman’s New World Pictures, was briefly attached to direct before him, and was quickly fired by Assonitis before filming. This is particularly unfortunate, as his idea for the movie sounds pretty cool:

Miller’s intention was that Piranha II should hinge upon Kevin McCarthy’s scientist from Piranha, even though he had seemingly perished in the first movie. “I pitched this idea of bringing Kevin McCarthy back, all chewed up and mutilated from the previous movie,” says Drake. “He was on an abandoned oil rig and he was developing these flying piranhas out there to get revenge, or whatever. I think we were going to bring Barbara Steele back and have him kill her by smashing her head through a fish tank.”

The idea for James Cameron’s hit The Terminator came from the time period when Piranha II was releasing in Italy. Cameron got significantly ill while powerlessly fretting over the movie overseas in the United States, and had a vivid fever dream about a skeletal, killer robot, which became the primary inspiration for The Terminator’s central machine.

Regardless of the unusual situation behind the scenes, Piranha II is still officially James Cameron’s directorial debut, at least on paper. His name remaining on the picture after being fired is apparently due to a contractual stipulation which required that an American had to be credited as the director on the film, or else he would likely have been taken off the movie’s credits, as he initially requested.

James Cameron’s b-movie roots interestingly go deeper than just Piranha II. Before his ill-fated directorial debut, he worked on such films as Galaxy of Terror, Battle Beyond the Stars, and Escape From New York as a visual effects artist, production designer, and art director.

The budget for Piranha II was astoundingly reported as less than $150,000, which it managed to make back with a marginal profit on a limited theatrical release in Europe.

Piranha II has been widely loathed by audiences and critics ever since its release. It currently holds a rating of 3.5 on IMDb, alongside amazingly low Rotten Tomatoes scores of 7% (critics) and 10% (audiences).

The fish in Piranha II just look terrible, even in comparison to the less than impressive monstrous stars of the original Piranha. The addition of wings on the creatures just comes off as comical rather than menacing, in spite of how hard the movie tries to make them terrifying. Fortunately, the film wisely tries to keep the fish off screen and out of focus as much as possible, but there is just no getting around how goofy they look when they do show up.

Worse than anything else is the fact that Piranha II is astoundingly slowly paced, and doesn’t do much to keep the audience’s attention. Honestly, this is one of the most boring movies I have watched since I finished the IMDb Bottom 100, and that is saying a lot. I was able to focus on an Italian Franco Nero movie with no subtitles better than I could stay tuned into Piranha II.

Overall, Piranha II is a train wreck of a movie with little to no redeeming value. However, the behind the scenes stories are really fascinating and interesting, enough so that it is almost worth watching through the movie to get some context. If you aren’t planning to do some reading for the sake of trivia, though, you should avoid Piranha II at all costs. However, the clips of the flying piranhas are worth checking out, because those are hilarious.

Water Foul

Water Foul: Alligator

July 8, 2015 Gordon Maples 6 Comments

Alligator

Today, my “Water Foul” series on the worst aquatic-themed horror movies continues with 1980’s Alligator.

Alligator was directed by Lewis Teague, who went on to direct the Stephen King film adaptations of Cujo and Cat’s Eye, as well as the Jay Leno and Pat Morita buddy cop comedy, Collision Course.

Alligator was written by John Sayles (Piranha, The Howling, The Spiderwick Chronicles, The Brother From Another Planet) and Frank Ray Perilli (Laserblast), though the latter apparently only wrote the almost entirely scrapped first draft.

The cinematographer on Alligator was Joseph Mangine, who also shot Albert Pyun’s The Sword and The Sorcerer, Mother’s Day, and Alligator 2: The Mutation.

Alligator featured two primary editors: Larry Bock (Final Justice, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, The Mighty Ducks, Bring It On) and Ron Medico (Death Bed: The Bed That Eats).

The music for Alligator was composed by Craig Huxley, who also contributed scores to the television show Walker, Texas Ranger and the Meat Loaf musical movie, Roadie.

The producers for Alligator included Mark L. Rosen (Spice World, The Sword and The Sorcerer), Tom Jacobson (The Ladykillers, Flashdance), Brandon Chase (Alligator 2: The Mutation, UFO’s Are Real), and Robert Bremson (Over The Edge, Obsession).

The special effects team for Alligator included Robert Short (Chopping Mall, Piranha), Richard Helmer (Apocalypse Now, Airplane!, Child’s Play), William Shourt (Serenity, Minority Report), John Ramsey (U-571), Pete Gerard (Ghostbusters, Terminator 2, Batman & Robin), David Beasley (Inspector Gadget, Stargate, The Blob), and David Bartholomew (Ghost Dad, Never Say Never Again).

The cast of Alligator is composed of Robert Forster (Jackie Brown, Vigilante), Robin Riker (The Bold and The Beautiful), Michael Gazzo (Last Action Hero, Cannonball Run II, The Godfather Part II), Dean Jagger (Game of Death, Elmer Gantry, King Creole), Sydney Lassick (Carrie, Cool as Ice), and an early, uncredited appearance by Kane Hodder (Jason X, Friday the 13th Part VIII).

The story of the film centers around a series of mysterious killings in the sewers of Chicago. The investigation ultimately reveals that an over-sized alligator, which had lived off of discarded animal corpses and experimental lab rats after being flushed as a baby, is hunting beneath the busy streets, and killing off countless unsuspecting locals. The police force then has to hunt down and destroy the beast, while the local government tries to cover up the sinister origins of the creature.

Apparently, the original script by Ray Perilli had the story taking place in Milwaukee, and outlandishly explained that the alligator grew massive in the sewers due to runoff from beer production. John Sayles reportedly scrapped the entire draft and started over from scratch, though Perilli was still ultimately given a writing credit on the movie.

According to IMDb, the buggy animatronic alligator used in the film was donated to the University of Florida to act as an unofficial mascot for the Florida Gators, though I wasn’t able to confirm its current location.

Alligator ultimately received a sequel in the form of Alligator II: The Mutation in 1991, a whole 11 years after the film’s initial release in 1980. Unfortunately, it was not received well, meaning I will likely give it a look here on the blog sooner or later.

Astoundingly, Alligator spawned a popular tie-in children’s board game made by the Ideal Toy Company. The commercial for it is up on YouTube, and provides one hell of a flashback to a time when children’s toys were made from R-rated movies.

The reception to Alligator was generally mixed: it currently holds Rotten Tomatoes scores of 67% (critics) and 48% (audiences), with an IMDb rating of 5.9. However, the movie was ultimately quite profitable in its theatrical run, grossing $6.5 million on an estimated $1.75 million budget.

All in all, the alligator itself doesn’t look half bad in this movie. Apparently it didn’t work very well, much like Bruce (the shark from Jaws), so the crew had to be a little creative in how they shot it. I think it worked out pretty well considering, as the gator looks genuinely intimidating. They aren’t particularly hyperactive animals to start with, so it isn’t like they needed a whole lot of action shots of the creature doing gymnastics. In my opinion, the large, lumbering gait of the beast seemed to drive home how little fear it had for humans during its limited time on screen, which I think contrasts pretty greatly to the Lake Placid crocodiles, who always struck me as being a bit too nimble.

There is an odd comedic tone to Alligator that is laced into the characters and the dialogue in the film. It is clearly self aware about what it is, and mocks itself lightly while not ruining the genuine monster movie tone. It never drifts so far as to become outright parody, which is a good thing in my opinion. This is a movie that hits right on the nose of the tropes and characteristic of a Jaws-era monster thriller, and it plays with them well.

I, like most people of my generation, only know Robert Forster as a distinctive-looking older character actor. Apart from some clips from William Lustig’s Vigilante, I had never seen any films from the earlier part of his career before this one, and it is almost surreal to see him so young. It reminded me a little bit of Sam Elliott in Frogs, in that he is almost unrecognizable as a younger man.

Overall, this isn’t all that bad of a monster flick. It has unfortunately been mostly forgotten, as the legacy of Crocodilian horror seems to be dominated by Lake Placid. That said, this is a flick that is worth checking out just for the novelty of it. There are some cheap effects strewn throughout the movie, but the plot is just darkly humorous enough to keep most b-movie lovers invested in the story through to the end. If you are craving an off the wall monster movie with some 1980s grit, Alligator can certainly provide.

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Mannequin

July 7, 2015 Gordon Maples 3 Comments

Mannequin

This post is based on a viewer request, which is being filled due to a donation to the Secular Student Alliance via my campaign during Secular Students Week (June 10-17, 2015). Thanks to all for your contributions!

Today’s feature is the bizarre 1987 romantic comedy, Mannequin.

Mannequin was directed and co-written by Michael Gottlieb, who was also behind such films as Mr. Nanny and A Kid In King Arthur’s Court. His co-writer and executive producer on the feature was Edward Rugoff, who would go on to contribute to the even more infamous sequel, Mannequin Two: On the Move.

The cinematographer for Mannequin was Tim Suhrstedt, who has also shot such films as Idiocracy, Office Space, Men At Work, and Teen Wolf.

Mannequin had two primary credited editors: Frank Jimenez (They Live, Rambo: First Blood Part II) and Academy Award winner Richard Halsey (Rocky, The Net, Sister Act, American Gigolo).

The music for Mannquin was provided by Sylvester Levay, who also notably composed the scores for the films Hot Shots! and Cobra.

Outside of Edward Rugoff, the other producers on Mannequin were Art Levinson (Mr. Mom, The Money Pit), Joseph Farrell (Joyful Noise), and Catherine Paura, a film marketing professional.

The effects team for Mannequin included Richard Arrington (Field of Dreams, Purple Rain), Phil Cory (Misery, Weekend At Bernie’s), Hans Metz (The Thing, Splash, Theodore Rex), and Ray Svedin (Speed, The Monster Squad, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot).

The cast of Mannequin features Andrew McCarthy (Pretty in Pink, Weekend at Bernie’s, Weekend at Bernie’s II), James Spader (Wolf, Crash, Tuff Turf), Kim Cattrall (Police Academy, Big Trouble In Little China), Carole Davis (Piranha Part Two: The Spawning, The Flamingo Kid), G.W. Bailey (Scorcher, Short Circuit, Police Academy: Mission to Moscow), and Estelle Getty (The Golden Girls, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot).

Mannequin wound up with an Academy Award nomination (Best Song) for Starship’s “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now,” which was created for the soundtrack. The song ultimately hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Mannequin was given a sequel in the form of Mannequin 2: On The Move in 1991. However, it failed to become a financial success, and was generally reviled by critics and audiences alike. Stay tuned, because I’ll probably be giving this one a look sooner or later.

Mannequin seems to be to some degree inspired by the Twilight Zone episode “The After Hours,” about mannequins who come to life after the store closes. However, in “The After Hours,” the central character isn’t aware that she is a mannequin, and eventually has to accept her status as an inanimate object in a twist ending. Mannequin, on the other hand, features a human who is cursed into being a mannequin, and is only able to be active at night, which is played for laughs. There is a quick mention of The Twilight Zone in the movie, though the line is a throwaway reference. The plots are ultimately very different, but the influence on the premise is clear.

The reception to Mannequin was generally negative: it currently holds a 5.7 score on IMDb, along with Rotten Tomatoes ratings of 22% (critics) and 55% (audience). Despite the unenthusiastic reception, Mannequin ultimately grossed well over $40 million domestically in its theatrical run, making it a significant financial success on a budget of $6 million.

The mannequin herself is a really odd character. First, there are the obvious mechanical questions. How exactly does her condition work? It seemed to imply time travel in the beginning of the movie, but how did that turn her into an inanimate object? Also, how does she keep finding specific people to bring her to life? None of this is ever adequately explained, which should be no surprise. However, the mannequin is also odd as a character, as she seems to fall in love with Switcher for no particular reason at all, and is enamored with him out of the gate. It is all unrealistic enough that it is impossible not to question if the character is really in his head after all, because it becomes increasingly implausible to believe that the mannequin character could be real. The fact that the audience only ever sees the mannequin alive from Switcher’s point of view also brings this into question, at least until the very end of the film, at which time she is cured of her mannequin-ism by true love (or something like that).

One of the accessory characters in the movie is Switcher’s ex-girlfriend’s coworker, who is only defined by his persistent and blatant sexual harassment of her. It is clearly supposed to be played for laughs, which is massively uncomfortable, and ever creepier when she ultimately decides to sleep with him for some reason (possibly because she was dumped for an inanimate object).

Mannequin features one truly outlandish character in ‘Hollywood’: a campy, flamboyant stereotype who is Switcher’s closest friend and co-worker. All of that said, he certainly livens up the movie, particularly with the hilarious costume designing done for him. Nothing got me laughing in this movie as much as the outlandish sunglasses that showed up on Hollywood in every other scene. Likewise, James Spader is at his scummiest in this film as the corrupt antagonist, and it is just impossible not to love-hate a Spader bad guy performance.

Something else honestly bothered me about the plot to this movie: do people actually pay attention to window displays in department stores, to the point that it influences their shopping decisions? This is a key focus in the movie, and a driving aspect of the plot. Most of the story circulates around competing window displays at two different department stores, and that’s how the main character winds up finding his success. I always assumed that window displays were a pretty basic way to showcase some new product, as opposed to being the primary aspect of a shop’s advertising. I’m pretty sure that window displays have dramatically minimized in the U.S. over the past few years, as shoppers have moved away from going to traditional malls. So, maybe this plot is more of a sign of the times than anything else.

There are a number of really distracting transition effects used throughout the movie, which I assume were intentionally included. Typically, editors try to make their cuts as subtle as possible, but the ones here stand out immensely. My best guess is that they were intended to make the film seem more cartoonish, but I found them more distracting than anything else, particularly because of how consistently they were used.

Of course, there is no way not to address the fact that this movie has a main character who is regularly banging a mannequin. That is pretty strange no matter what the context is, whether there is a time traveling Egyptian curse or not. Weirder than that, however, is the way people unrealistically react to his behavior with the mannequin. His coworkers mostly just giggle and gossip about his shenanigans, and occasionally eavesdrop on him.

Overall, Mannequin is damn strange on its surface, but is really just a traditional romantic comedy once you dig into it a little. The characters are simple, the plot is nonsense, and the whole film seems to take place in an alternate reality where people are little more than flesh cartoons. I didn’t mind the experience of watching it, but I can’t think of any reason to recommend it. The movie isn’t painful to sit through, but I’m still not sure why anyone would necessarily want to. For the sake of curiosity, it is probably worth watching to say that you did.

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The Last Dragon

July 6, 2015 Gordon Maples 2 Comments

The Last Dragon

Today’s feature is Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon, a musical martial arts movie that has become a true cult classic.

The credited writer of The Last Dragon is Louis Venosta, who only has a handful of other writing credits listed on IMDb. Outside of one short film, the only other things he has written are Bird On A Wire and a handful of episodes of the science fiction television show First Wave.

The Last Dragon was directed by Michael Schultz, was was also behind Car Wash and Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. More recently, he has directed a handful of episodes of television shows like Arrow, Chuck, and Touched By An Angel.

The cinematography on The Last Dragon was provided by James A. Contner, who also shot Jaws 3-D, The Flamingo Kid, and Cruising. He has done a good deal of directing on television, including numerous episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, 21 Jump Street, and Charmed.

Christopher Holmes served as the editor for The Last Dragon: an experienced cutter who has also worked on films like Five Easy Pieces, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Car Wash, Donnie Brasco, Staying Alive, and Conan the Barbarian.

The special effects work on the film is credited to Gary Zeller, who also worked on Scanners, Dawn of the Dead, Vigilante, Visiting Hours, and Amityville II: The Possession. The makeup effects were provided by Allen Weisinger, who has done effects work on such films as The Wiz, Wolfen, Tootsie, Goodfellas, The Silence of the Lambs, and Scent of a Woman.

The music for The Last Dragon was composed by Misha Segal, who has also provided scores to such movies as The Human Centipede III, Ninja III: The Domination, and The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking.

The producers on The Last Dragon were Joseph M Caracciolo (Spider-Man 3, Charlie’s Angels, Biloxi Blues, 8MM), Rupert Hitzig (Jaws 3-D, Wolfen), and the famed record producer and songwriter Berry Gordy, the founder of Motown.

The Last Dragon was choreographed in part by Lester Wilson, who famously planned the choreography for movies like The Wiz, Saturday Night Fever, and Sister Act.

The cast of The Last Dragon features Taimak (No More Dirty Deals), Vanity (Never Too Young To Die, Deadly Illusion, Action Jackson), Christopher Murney (Barton Fink), Julius Carry (Disco Godfather), Faith Prince (Huff, Spin City), Mike Starr (Ed Wood, On Deadly Ground, Anne B. Real, Snake Eyes, Black Dynamite, The Ice Harvest), Jim Moody (Personal Best, Lean On Me, Fame), Ernie Reyes, Jr. (Red Sonja, Surf Ninjas, Paper Dragons, Rush Hour 2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze), and future notable actors William H. Macy (Cellular, Evolver, Fargo, Edmond) and Chazz Palminteri (A Bronx Tale, In The Mix, The Usual Suspects) in small, early roles.

The plot of The Last Dragon follows a young martial artist living in Harlem, who winds up on the wrong side of a local martial arts obsessed crime boss, while also also getting involved in a feud between a violent music promoter and a famous singer/television show host. He has to face all of these challenges while simultaneously working to attain the final level of martial arts mastery, known as “The Glow.”

The soundtrack for The Last Dragon earned two Razzie nominations for Worst Original Song: the title theme song, and Vanity’s “7th Heaven.”

The famous martial arts movie Enter the Dragon, starring Bruce Lee, appears during a theater sequence towards the beginning of The Last Dragon, which was clearly a major inspiration for this film. Likewise, clips of Fists of Fury and The Chinese Connection pop up later in the film, as well as some explicit dialogue about the influence of Bruce Lee on the lead character.

The hit song “Rhythm of the Night” by DeBarge was released as part of the soundtrack for The Last Dragon, and ultimately got as high as #3 on the US Billboard Hot 100.

The band LMFAO, which was made up of two descendants of The Last Dragon producer Berry Gordy, references the film in their hit single “Sexy and I Know It,” with the lyric “like Bruce Leroy I got The Glow.”

The Last Dragon currently has a score of 6.8 on IMDb, along with Rotten Tomatoes ratings of 20% (critics) and 86% (audience). It is worth noting what accounts for that huge gulf: the Rotten Tomatoes critics score comes almost entirely from reviews that were written at the time of the film’s release, whereas the IMDb rating and Rotten Tomatoes audience score are continually updated with new submissions and input. The huge gulf between the reception it received from critics at the time and the reputation it has in the minds of moviegoers now is quite notable, and reflects its status as a cult classic in the opinions of many.

While it was a critical failure at the time, The Last Dragon managed to gross an impressive $25.7 million at the domestic box office, making it a financial success on a reported budget of $10 million.

Some of the songs featured in The Last Dragon are unfathomably awful, like Vanity’s “7th Heaven.” I don’t know what exactly went wrong there, but it just sounds awkward and really unpleasant, which is surprising for a movie that is supposed to be powered by the musical numbers.

Speaking of the songs, the one really successful entry into the soundtrack is “Rhythm of the Night,” which I mentioned previously. However, it winds up getting obviously shoehorned into the movie, which grinds the plot to a halt for the duration that it plays. Theoretically, the soundtrack is suppose to accentuate the movie, and not deliberately distract from it, which is how the song winds up functioning here.

The villain of the film, Sho ‘Nuff, is a fantastically hammy adversary for the stoic hero, ‘Bruce’ LeRoy Green, and his portrayal is probably the most memorable aspect of the movie. Personally, I wish he featured more prominently in the film, as he seems to disappear for a while in the middle of the story. On the flip side, Taimak clearly isn’t much of an actor (which is particularly clear when anything emotional is required of him), though he seems more than competent with the stunts and fighting.

The Last Dragon has a generally flashy design to it all the way from the costumes to the sets, which is justifiably over-the-top given the tone and style of the movie. I could see how it could turn some people off, but I thought it all worked pretty well.

The fight sequences that pop up in The Last Dragon could be shot better to emphasize the action, but they certainly aren’t awful by any means. For the most part, the crew’s experience wasn’t with martial arts movies, so it is understandable that they weren’t experts at pulling that aspect of the film off. And, to their credit, it is for the most part good enough.

The Last Dragon rightfully doesn’t take itself too seriously, and audiences certainly shouldn’t either. This is a film that is, above all else, fun and entertaining. It isn’t meant to be any deeper than its surface value, and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. I mean, ‘Bruce’ LeRoy? We aren’t dealing with subtlety here. But honestly, who is complaining? The movie knows exactly what it is, and leans into that identity.

Speaking of which, naming the central character ‘Bruce’ LeRoy was a nice homage to the countless Bruce Lee clone movies that flooded the video market after Enter the Dragon, which all seemed to use a permutation of the name ‘Bruce Lee’ for their lead.

Overall, The Last Dragon is a pretty entertaining flick that merges two distinct styles, though it certainly has a whole lot of flaws. However, most of them just contribute to the charm of the flick, and help build the ambiance of the movie being an honest Bruce Lee knockoff film. The Last Dragon is a fun ride that is worth checking out for bad movie fans, though it drifts into being too self-aware at moments to appreciate as an earnest good-bad feature. Regardless, it is plenty of fun.

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The Dentist 2

July 3, 2015 Gordon Maples 12 Comments

The Dentist 2

Today’s flick is Brian Yuzna’s unwarranted 1998 sequel to The Dentist, The Dentist 2.

The Dentist 2 is, of course, a sequel to 1996’s The Dentist, which was written by the duo of Stuart Gordon and Dennis Paoli (Dagon, Castle Freak, Re-Animator, From Beyond), and then extensively re-written by Charles Finch, one of the producers of Fat Slags. While Dentist 2 gives character credits to all three of those writers, the screenplay was written by one Richard Dana Smith, who had no previous credits at the time. He would go on to write a handful of TV movies, such as The Perfect Neighbor and The Stepdaughter, but not much else.

The Dentist 2 was directed by Brian Yuzna, who also directed The Dentist, Bride of Re-Animator, and Beyond Re-Animator. He is also a long-time producer and collaborator with Stuart Gordon on such movies as Dagon, From Beyond, Dolls, and Re-Animator.

The cinematographer for The Dentist 2 was Jurgen Baum, who also shot such films as Sorority House Massacre II and Jim Wynorski’s Hard To Die.

The editor for the film was Christopher Roth, who also cut such films as The Dentist, Leprechaun, Killer Klowns From Outer Space, Raptor Island, Hatchet, and Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan.

The producers on The Dentist 2 included Mark Amin (Evolver, Leprechaun, Leprechaun 3, The Dentist, Chairman of the Board), Noel Zanitsch (Wishmaster, The Dentist), Robert Lansing Parker (The Running Man, The Dentist, Night Shift), Bruce David Eisen (Evolver, Trucks, Leprechaun 3, Leprechaun In The Hood), Pierre David (Videodrome, Scanners), and the film’s star, Corbin Bernsen.

The visual effects crew for The Dentist 2 was made up of Michele Pruden (Soccer Dog), Rita Schrag (King of the Ants, Poolhall Junkies, Puppet Master 4), and Jim Stewart (Beeper, Scorcher, Dr. Alien, Chopping Mall, School Spirit).

The makeup and special effects team for The Dentist 2 included Anthony Ferrante (who later directed the Sharknado franchise), Sam Greenmun (Evil Eyes, The Dentist, Virtuosity, Mystery Men), A.J. Venuto (Blade, Transformers, AI), Ralis Kahn (Pledge This!, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Dogma), and J.M. Logan (Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, Halloweentown, Virus, G-Men From Hell).

The music for The Dentist 2 was provided by Alan Howarth, an experienced composer and sound editor with credits on such movies as The Omega Code, They Live, Escape From New York, The Dentist, Halloween III, Battle Beyond The Stars, Poltergeist, Fortress, The Running Man, Class of 1999, Total Recall, Cool as Ice, and Tank Girl.

The cast for The Dentist 2 is once again led by Corbin Bernsen (The Dentist, Judgment, Psych), with accessory roles filled out by Clint Howard (Blubberella, House of the Dead, Santa With Muscles, Ice Cream Man, Night Shift), Jeff Doucette (The Mangler 2, Newhart, Splash), Jim Antonio (Catch Me If You Can, Crazy In Alabama), Wendy Robie (Twin Peaks, The Glimmer Man), and Susanne Wright (The Brothers Solomon), among many others.

The plot of The Dentist 2 takes place after the events of The Dentist, where Dr. Feinstone finds a way out of his mental hospital and goes on the run. He takes up in a new town under a new name, and is looking to start another practice. However, he has tried to overcome his dark past, and has to wrestle with his inner demons and compulsions while also evading the authorities who continue to hunt him down.

The full title was originally The Dentist 2: Brace Yourself, a title that is still used on some of the home video box covers. However, the movie is typically just known as The Dentist 2.

Reportedly, a third installment in the series was planned (and even greenlit), but Brian Yuzna wasn’t able to find the time to make it before Trimark merged with Lionsgate in 2000, which likely means there will be no more Dentist movies in the future.

The reception to The Dentist 2 was overwhelmingly negative. It currently holds a rating of 4.2 on IMDb, along with Rotten Tomatoes scores of 0% (critics) and 24% (audience).

The film had an estimated budget of $1.8 million, but never had a chance to earn any of that back in theaters, ultimately going straight to video.

Corbin Bernsen is as hammy as ever in this film, and is an absolute delight to watch. However, not a whole lot happens in this movie, making it a pretty disappointing sequel to an astoundingly cheesy movie. A lot of the conflict is internal for Feinstone, and once he does give in to his impulses, he isn’t quite as theatrical as he was in the previous movie, as he doesn’t really have the same motivations for his actions. There also isn’t nearly as colorful of a cast of character behind him, like Ken Foree’s cop from the first film.

Overall, there is still some stuff to enjoy in this film for fans of the first movie, particularly in regards to Bernsen’s acting, the nauseating cinematography, and the score. However, there isn’t nearly as much action or tension in this sequel to keep the plot interesting, which makes the movie feel anchored down. Fans of the first should check it out, but it hardly compares to the ridiculous glory of The Dentist.

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Troll

July 2, 2015 Gordon Maples 14 Comments

Troll

Today’s movie is a little flick called Troll, starring Michael Moriarty and Sonny Bono.

The writer for Troll was Ed Naha, who also wrote the screenplays for films like Dolls, Dollman, Omega Doom, and C.H.U.D. II: Bud the CHUD.

Troll was directed by John Carl Buechler, who was also behind such films as Ghoulies Go To College, The Eden Formula, and Friday the 13th Part VII. He has also worked extensively as an effects artist on low budget films like Piranha, Robot Jox, Dolls, From Beyond, Carnosaur, and The Gingerdead Man.

The cinematographer on Troll was Romano Albani, who most notably shot the film TerrorVision, as well as Dario Argento’s Inferno.

The editor for Troll was Lee Percy, who has cut such films as The Ice Harvest, Boys Don’t Cry, The Believer, Dolls, From Beyond, and Re-Animator over his career.

The producers for Troll were Albert Band, Charles Band, and Debra Dion, who were all heavily involved with the production company, Empire Pictures. Empire was Charles Band’s initial independent company that existed throughout the 1980s, prior to the creation of the more recognizable Full Moon Entertainment. The outfit also produced films like Trancers, Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dolls, and Robot Jox, and laid the foundations for a number of Full Moon franchises.

The makeup effects supervisor on Troll was John Vulich, an eventual Emmy winning effects artist who would work on acclaimed television series like Babylon 5, The X-Files, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The creature creation for Troll was done by the director himself, John Carl Beuchler. The rest of the team included Brent Armstrong (Hollow Man, It’s Alive 3, Starship Troopers, In The Mouth of Madness), Howard Berger (Evil Dead 2, Maniac Cop 3, Scream, The Faculty, Kill Bill), R. Christopher Biggs (Super Mario Bros., Hudson Hawk, Teen Wolf), Everett Burrell (Aliens, DeepStar Six, Castle Freak), Gino Crognale (The Spirit, From Beyond, 976-EVIL, Django Unchained), and Mitch Devane (Dolls, From Beyond, Captain America).

The visual effects team for Troll was made up of Jim Aupperle (Evil Dead 2, Beetlejuice, RoboCop 3, Dollman, Son of the Mask), James Belohovek (Robot Jox, Leviathan, Evolver, RoboCop 3, Dollman), Steve Burg (Robot Jox, Leviathan, Chopping Mall, Waterworld, Interstellar), Linda Drake (From Beyond, Dr. Alien, The Smurfs 2, Chopping Mall), Kevin Kutchaver (Robot Jox, RoboCop 3, Last Action Hero, Blade, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Shoot Em Up), Len Morganti (School Spirit, Argo, Robot Jox, RoboCop 3, Blind Fury, True Believer), and Martine Tomczyk (Super Mario Bros., Apollo 13, The Last Dragon), as well as a handful of others.

The musical score for Troll was done by Richard Band, Charles Band’s brother. He has famously provided music to movies like Re-Animator, Castle Freak, The Pit and The Pendulum, and Laserblast.

The cast for Troll features a number of recognizable faces, including Michael Moriarty (It’s Alive 3, The Stuff, Q, Law & Order), Sonny Bono (The Sonny and Cher Show, Hairspray), Noah Hathaway (The NeverEnding Story), Shelley Hack (Charlie’s Angels), Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (Seinfeld), and June Lockhart (Lost in Space, Lassie).

The plot of Troll centers around a young family who is moving into a new home in a San Francisco apartment complex. Unbeknownst to them, however, an evil, magical troll also calls the complex home, and has sinister plans for the new tenants. The young Harry Potter, Jr. teams up with a friendly local witch in an attempt to save his sister, who is captured by the troll as the family is moving in.

Troll has received increased attention in recent years thanks to the cult popularity of the pseudo-sequel, Troll 2, directed by Claudio Fragasso. Troll 2 is widely considered one of the elite good-bad movies of all time, and even inspired a documentary about it called Best Worst Movie. However, despite some debate on the point, Troll 2 doesn’t have any direct official connection to Troll, nor does it actually feature trolls at all in the film.

Two of the central characters in Troll bear the name Harry Potter, which is of course now the title of a phenomenally popular book and movie franchise. However, the books wouldn’t be written for another handful of years, leading some to wonder if J.K. Rowling took the name from this movie.

The reception to Troll was overwhelmingly poor. It currently has a 4.2 score on IMDb, along with ratings of 29% (critics) and 28% (audience) on Rotten Tomatoes.

Troll had an estimated production budget of just over $1 million. It managed to gross roughly $5.5 million domestically in its theatrical run, making it a profitable low-budget feature in spite of the poor reception.

Troll features, without any doubt, one of the most aggravatingly annoying child actors I have ever seen in a movie. For most of the movie, the little girl character is possessed by the troll, so she has to act like an evil character in disguise. Frankly, it is unbearable whenever she starts growling or trying to be scary.

Michael Moriarty, as always, is delightfully eccentric and goofy in Troll. He isn’t quite as memorable as he was in Q: The Winged Serpent or The Stuff, but he has some solid moments in here despite not having a whole lot of screen time. Likewise, Sonny Bono plays a great scummy neighbor during his brief presence in the film, before he turns into a weird plant-thing.

There were far more pop culture references than I expected in this movie, to such name brand products as Star Trek and Godzilla. I assume this was an intentional touch by Ed Naha, who seems to enjoy inserting humor and self-awareness into his movie scripts. Speaking of which, there are some genuinely funny moments in this movie: I am particularly fond of the fake movie clips that show up in the background.

“That may look like your canary, Tweety, my dear… It may sing like Tweety, it may molt like Tweety…but your canary is a pod person from the planet Mars.”

The climax of the movie features some really dated lightning effects that are impossible not to remark on. I am sure it looked at least ok at the time, but it is pretty hilarious to watch these outdated visual effects now.

The troll itself isn’t particularly menacing, and something about the costume just seems unwieldy and awkward. It honestly makes Warwick Davis in the Leprechaun franchise look genuinely frightening by comparison. Even worse is that the smaller troll creatures look vastly different, and amazingly look even cheaper than the central troll.

Overall, Troll isn’t an elite bad movie, particularly when compared to its pseudo-sequel. However, there is plenty to enjoy here between the bad effects, hammy acting, ludicrous plot, and troll-singing. It would be worth a recommendation based on Sonny Bono’s death scene and Michael Moriarty’s presence on their own, let alone all of the other nonsense going on in this film. For bad movie aficionados, this is a must-see.

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Leprechaun

July 1, 2015 Gordon Maples 13 Comments

Leprechaun

Today, we’re going to take a look at the catalyst to one of the most notoriously silly horror franchises of all time: Leprechaun.

Leprechaun was written and directed by Mark Jones, who doesn’t have a ton of interesting credits to his name, outside of writing a few episodes of The A-Team. He has directed a few other movies over the years (Scorned, Rumpelstiltskin, Quiet Kill), but none have had the same kind of lasting impact as Leprechaun.

The cinematographer for Leprechaun was Levie Isaacks, who also shot The Dentist and Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice.

The film’s editor was Christopher Roth , who cut such films as The Dentist, The Dentist 2, and Killer Klowns From Outer Space over the course of his career.

The producers for Leprechaun included Mark Amin (The Dentist, The Dentist 2, Trucks, Chairman of the Board, Leprechaun 3, Evolver), Barry Barnholtz (The Dog Who Saved Christmas, The Mangler 2), and William Sachs (The Incredible Melting Man, Galaxina, Exterminator 2).

The Leprechaun effects team included Larry Arpin (The Dentist, Highlander II, Maniac Cop 3, Maniac Cop 2, Maniac Cop, Blood Diner, The Ambulance), Ken Herbster (Superman IV, Ghoulies IV), Leon Stankevich (The Blob, The Secret Agent Club), David Kindlon (Wolf, Hell Comes to Frogtown, From Beyond), Joel Harlow (Battlefield Earth, The Langoliers, Suburban Commando, Blues Brothers 2000), John Deall (It, Virus, Critters 4), Gabriel Bartalos (Dolls, From Beyond, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Leprechaun 3), and numerous others.

The music for Leprechaun was provided by the duo of Kevin Kiner (Hell on Wheels, Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD) and Robert J. Walsh (Zombie Nation, Revenge of the Ninja, Jem, The Transformers, G.I. Joe), both of whom have extensive composition credits for numerous television shows.

The cast of Leprechaun is led by Warwick Davis (Willow, Return of the Jedi, Labyrinth, Leprechaun 3), Jennifer Anniston (Friends, Bruce Almighty), Ken Olandt (April Fool’s Day), and Mark Holton (Teen Wolf), and is filled out by a handful of less recognizable faces.

The story of Leprechaun kicks off when a family moves into a new house that was abandoned after a mysterious incident incapacitated the previous owner. Through their explorations in the home, an evil leprechaun (that the previous owner captured) is accidentally released and reawakened, and immediately goes on a killing spree through the local town in search for his stolen gold. The family has to learn the monster’s weaknesses in order to prevent it from eliminating all of the local townsfolk.

Initially, there was going to be product placement in the film by Lucky Charms, but they pulled out after seeing the final product, leading to a costly re-shoot. I’m curious what the hell they expected from a leprechaun-themed horror movie, other than what is present here?

Interestingly, Leprechaun was apparently initially planned as a scary kid’s movie, but inserts were added to make it more traditional horror when producers worried that it wouldn’t resonate with adult horror audiences.

The film was later re-marketed for home video release to emphasize Jennifer Anniston, who eventually took off as a celebrity over the run of the hit show Friends.

Leprechaun spawned one of the most notoriously goofy horror franchises, which is currently up to 7 installments. The franchise is best known for outlandish location gimmicks, taking the sinister creature to space, Las Vegas, and the ghetto (twice). The most recent film was a rebooted take on the story made in 2014, called Leprechaun: Origins.

The reception to Leprechaun was generally negative, and it currently holds a 4.6 rating on IMDb alongside Rotten Tomatoes scores of 25% (critics) and 32% (audience). However, the entire franchise has a dedicated cult following that has allowed it to survive through the years.

Leprechaun was made on a reported production budget of $900,000, and grossed just over $8.5 million in its domestic theatrical run, making it a profitable little movie.

Leprechaun is, of course, packed with silly rhymes and one liners. However, that is what the movie is all about when it comes down to it: Freddy Krueger without any element of menace, and a penchant for verse. It is a licorice type of movie: you will love it or you will hate it, and there isn’t much room for middle ground in between.

Over the top deaths might be a signature of the Leprechaun series, but there are not as many as you would expect in this first film. I think, all told, only four people wind up dead, and at least half are mundane deaths. That said, it doesn’t get much better than the pogo stick death in this movie.

Leprechaun contains some truly dreadful acting, particularly from the comic relief painters. However, Anniston is also pretty terrible, making it a wonder that she has gone on to have the career that she has had.

Jennifer Anniston’s character in this movie is unbearably bratty as the story begins, and can somehow afford to constantly drop money on things, despite the fact that it is never really established that the family is super-wealthy. She theoretically softens as the film goes along, but she is overall less likable than the Leprechaun himself.

Leprechaun rides the border of being a horror movie at all, and just being a failed comedy. Nothing is particularly scary about it, and from what I have read, that is how it was initially designed. If you think of it as a movie-length Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, the style makes a lot more sense, specifically in regards to the acting and the humor.

One of the key motivations for a couple of characters chasing down the Leprechaun’s gold in this movie is to be able to afford an operation that can supposedly make a mentally handicapped person ‘smart’. The way it is explained in the story initially made me wonder if the kid character who proposes this is just deluded/misinformed, or if the writer actually thought that this sort of operation actually exists. However, the kid acknowledges towards the end that such an operation towards the end, bringing up even more questions about what he was supposed to do with the gold, and why he bothered lying about the operation in the first place.

Overall, Leprechaun is a weird little movie that doesn’t quite know what it should be, and that is painfully obvious from watching it. As far as a bad movie watch goes, some of the sequels are way more fun, but it is worth watching this one to have a foundation. Warwick Davis also definitely has his entertaining moments here and there that make it worth watching. Personally, I found it a little easier to sit through after finding out it was supposed to be for kids initially, which gave me a different outlook on it. As I mentioned earlier, the best way to watch this movie is to think of it as a really long episode of Are You Afraid of The Dark? or Goosebumps.

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1990: The Bronx Warriors

June 30, 2015 Gordon Maples 7 Comments

1990: The Bronx Warriors

Today’s feature is an infamous Italian knock-off of The Warriors: 1990: The Bronx Warriors, starring Vic Morrow and Fred Williamson.

1990 :The Bronx Warriors was co-written and directed by Enzo Castellari, who also created The Shark Hunter, Keoma, and the original Inglorious Bastards. His co-writers were Elisa Briganti (Hands of Steel, Zombie, The House By The Cemetery) and Dardano Sacchetti (The Beyond, Devil Fish, The Demons, Amityville II, A Bay of Blood).

The cinematographer for The Bronx Warriors was Sergio Salvati, yet another member of the crew who was a frequent cohort and collaborator of Lucio Fulci’s: he shot his films City of The Living Dead, They Died With Their Boots On, Four of the Apocalypse, Zombie, and The Beyond. Later on, he worked on a handful of other memorable horror movies, such as Ghoulies II and Puppetmaster.

The editor for the movie was Gianfranco Amicucci, who also cut a number of Castellari’s other films, including Keoma, The Inglorious Bastards, and The Shark Hunter. He also went on to edit a number of Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust) movies, including The Washing Machine and Mom I Can Do It.

The producer of the film was Fabrizio De Angelis, who also produced a handful of memorable Italian films like Lucio Fulci’s Zombie, Manhattan Baby, and The Beyond. He also directed and produced the entire Karate Warrior franchise, as well as a number of other low budget films.

The makeup effects team for The Bronx Warriors was made up of Antonio Maltempo (The Godfather Part III, The English Patient, Manhattan Baby) and Maurizio Trani (Zombie, Piranha II, Troll 2, Ator 4),

The musical score for 1990: The Bronx Warriors was done by Walter Rizzati, who also has composing credits on such films as The House By The Cemetery, Deadly Impact, and something called Flying Sex, which IMDb doesn’t have a description for. Just let your imagination decide on that one.

The cast of 1990: The Bronx Warriors includes Vic Morrow (The Bad News Bears, Twilight Zone: The Movie, Humanoids From The Deep), Fred Williamson (Black Caesar, Hell Up In Harlem, From Dusk Til Dawn, MASH, The Inglorious Bastards), Marco De Gregorio (Thunder, Escape From The Bronx), Christopher Connelly (Manhattan Baby, Django 2), Joshua Sinclair (Keoma), George Eastman (Hands of Steel, Porno Holocaust, Anthropophagus, Django Kills Softly), Stefania Girolami (Sinbad of the Seven Seas, The Last Shark) and Angelo Ragusa (The Pumaman, Double Team).

The plot of 1990: The Bronx Warriors takes place in the futuristic wasteland that is New York City in 1990. The city is ruled by rival gangs, and is considered essentially lawless. After a wealthy heiress runs away from home into the city, a mercenary is sent into the warzone to insure her safe return. What results is a convergence of warlords and cut-throat baddies into an all-out battle for the city.

Marco De Gregorio was cast as the lead role of Trash in the movie based on his appearance alone. Apparently, the director just ran into him at a gym, and made the casting decision based on his looks and the physical impression he made. He had only previously appeared in a television movie in an unnamed role according to IMDb.

Unfortunately, this film marked Vic Morrow’s last completed movie role, as he died tragically and horrifically due to an on-set stunt accident while filming Twilight Zone: The Movie the next year, which also killed two young children. The accident resulted in a number of lawsuits, and is one of the most infamous on-set accidents in movie history.

1990: The Bronx Warriors ultimately spawned a sequel: Escape From The Bronx, which focuses more on ripping off Escape From New York than The Warriors.

1990: The Bronx Warriors was partially filmed on location in the Bronx, but also features a significant amount of sound stage footage that was shot in Italy, apparently due to an attempt to exploit some filming loophole for domestic Italian features.

Reportedly, actual members of The Hell’s Angels were used during filming to depict the extra members of The Riders throughout the film, which gives the movie an unexpected element of realism at times.

Vic Morrow’s character’s name in this film is The Hammer, which is also the real life nickname of his co-star, Fred ‘The Hammer’ Williamson. I’m curious if that ever got confusing on the set.

The reception for 1990: The Bronx Warriors has been generally negative, though it certainly has a cult following as a classic bad movie. It currently holds an IMDb rating of 5.2, along with a 37% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.

The acting is overall pretty awful in this flick, particularly on the part of “Trash,” who is way too inexperienced for what they wanted from the role. Speaking of which, that’s a pretty uninspiring nickname for a powerful gang leader. It is supposed to evoke a low-class impression, but why not something like “Gutter” or “Sludge?” Everyone else has names like “Hammer,” “Hot Dog,” “Ogre,” “Blade,” and “Ice,” so “Trash” is definitely the odd one out of the group as far as cool names go.

Fred Williamson is always awesome, and is one of my favorite b-movie actors for a reason. He notably has an outstanding death scene in this movie, wherein he is torched to death by flamethrowers while smoking one last cigarette. It is…so awesome.

There are a lot of moving parts to the story of The Bronx Warriors, but it irons itself out as it goes along. There are arguably a few too many character names and affiliations that aren’t adequately explained, but you pick up the essential stuff as the story goes along, to the point that everything is clear by the climax. That said, there are definitely a few elements that never quite make sense.

In the spirit of The Warriors, there are plenty of ridiculous costumes throughout this movie, as you would expect. Plenty of roller blades, motorcycles, leather, and fancy suits make their way into combat at one point or another, and it is just delightful.

This movie has one hell of an explosive ending, with just about every character dead and/or on fire. The movie finishes on a freeze frame of Hammer’s corpse being drug behind a motorcycle, impaled on a harpoon. I mean, wow. This especially potent because it takes place after a fake-out happy ending, complete with a damn cake.

1990bronx7 — A cake shaped like NYC, that was catered in a war zone. Can you imagine the cost?

The central crux of the movie’s plot doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. The heiress is apparently about to come of age, and she is afraid of her responsibilities as the head of a massive military corporation, and more specifically worried about being manipulated and used as a puppet. Of course, the current operators need her to be just that, so they a sink a ton of money into mercenaries to track her down and bring her back. However, in the conclusion, Hammer just decides to basically burn everything down, including the heiress. What was the point of all of that, then? This may have just been Hammer being bloodthirsty and angry, but he seemed to be using the military company’s men, so there is no way that the head honchos didn’t know that this was an extermination mission. In any case, pretty much everybody loses at the end of this thing, as I mentioned previously. It is a real nasty bloodbath filled with sadness and tragedy.

This movie is so much fun that it is easy to overlook a lot of the flaws in it. It certainly helps that a lot of those flaws, like the poor production values and nonsense story, totally add to the charm. It is evident from the start that this is a cheap knock-off, but if you enjoyed The Warriors or Escape From New York, this is genuinely more of the same, and that isn’t a bad thing.

Seriously, bad movie lovers have to check this one out. It is kind of surreal to see a bunch of Lucio Fulci’s Italian cohorts take on a quasi-remake of The Warriors, but it totally works.

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American Chinatown

June 29, 2015 Gordon Maples 1 Comment

American Chinatown

Today’s feature is an obscure flick called American Chinatown, from the writer and director of the ludicrous cult classic film, Miami Connection.

American Chinatown was written, directed, and produced by Woo-sang Park, who regularly credits himself under the pseudonym of Richard Park. His best known film by far is Miami Connection, but he made a handful of other low-budget movies from the 1970s through the 1990s, including L.A. Streetfighters, Gang Justice, and Shaolin: The Blood Mission.

One of the cinematographers on American Chinatown was Maximo Munzi, who also shot Miami Connection for Woo-sang Park.

The team of producers for American Chinatown included Larry Larson (City Dragon), star Tae-joon Lee (Ninja Terminator), Simon Bibiyan (City Dragon, The Malibu Beach Vampires), and Moshe Bibiyan (Warrior of Justice, City Dragon).

The musical score and editing for American Chinatown was done by Ron Adler, who worked on a handful of other small movies like Invisible Temptation, The Secret Force, and City Dragon.

The American Chinatown cast is headlined by the late Robert Z’dar (Maniac Cop, Tango & Cash, Soultaker, Maniac Cop 2, Maniac Cop 3, Samurai Cop), and also features Tae-joon Lee (Ninja Terminator), Bobby Kim (Black Belt Angels, Deadly Kick, Mark of the Black Dragon), and Liat Goodson (Vice Girls, The Prince), along with a number of inexperienced and non-actors to fill out the cast.

The plot of American Chinatown centers around a gang war, during which a top enforcer unknowingly falls for his boss’s adopted sister. He has to figure out a way to reconcile his feelings for the woman with his loyalty to the gang, all while leading the charge in an ever-heating conflict with the cross-town rival criminal organization.

American Chinatown is also known as Chinatown 2, which is not to be confused with the actual sequel to Roman Polanski’s Chinatown (The Two Jakes), which released in 1990.

The reception to American Chinatown has been generally negative, though very few people have actually heard of it or seen it. It currently has an IMDb rating of 4.2, and has a Rotten Tomatoes average audience score of .5/5. However, less than 90 ratings of the movie have been recorded on the two sites combined.

Right out of the gate, American Chinatown starts with an attempted rape, followed up by some completely inaudible and indecipherable dialogue, which is about as bad of a start as you can possibly have for a movie. On top of that, the editing and cinematography for the sequence is also astoundingly terrible, to the point where is honestly difficult to tell what is actually happening. Eventually, a mysterious man stops the assault, kicks the would-be rapists a bunch, steals their wallets and clothes, and then lets them go on their way. I guess this is supposed to set up this fellow as a badass, but the whole thing plays out really strangely, and I don’t understand why he just let them meander on their merry way.

The acting in this movie is, across the board, just dreadful. Most movies at least have a bright spot somewhere in the cast, but that just isn’t the case here. I don’t know how this film was cast, but Robert Z’Dar is the only person who seems to know what acting even is, and that is a sad state of affairs for any film. The lead character’s love interest also has one of the most perplexing fake accents that I have ever heard in a movie, and I still can’t figure out exactly what it is supposed to be.

There are a couple of cool fight sequences spread throughout the movie, but they are all shot really poorly, so the talent of the stunt people is mostly wasted. Still, they are entertaining as the movie ever gets.

The music for American Chinatown, when it does bother to pop up, is ridiculous in the best way you could possibly hope for. It is always heavy on the synthesizers and funky beats, but suffers immensely from constantly disappearing for long periods of time, which is a damn shame.

One big problem with this film is the unlikability of the hero, who is frankly a complete asshat. I already covered how he allowed attempted rapists to wander away in the opening sequence (he does that again, by the way), but the rest of his interactions with his love interest for a good portion of the movie primarily consist of him berating her and trying to force her to leave him alone. I understand that the point is that he doesn’t want her to get wrapped up in the criminal world he lives in, but he really is a complete shit about it, though.

The whole movie has a disappointing lack of Robert Z’Dar in it, which I wasn’t exactly surprised about. He only pops up in a handful of scenes, and overall doesn’t get much time on screen when all is said and done. He does get the shit beaten out of him way more than I expected, though, particularly towards the end of the flick.

The ending to American Chinatown feels like they didn’t quite finish the move. Basically, a fight sequence ends with a freeze frame and a fade to black, without any visual resolution for the story. Then again, maybe something was covered in the inaudible dialogue that I couldn’t make heads or tails of. In any case, it is both jarring and unsatisfying as a conclusion.

Overall, American Chinatown isn’t nearly as memorable or entertaining as similar films like Miami Connection or either Lethal Ninja, but it has a few bright moments here and there. Unfortunately, they are very spread out, and the awful acting, sound editing, and cinematography makes for a trying experience to sit through, which isn’t going to be worth most people’s time.

Misan[trope]y

Tag Archives: bad movies

Water Foul: The Shark Hunter

The Shark Hunter

Water Foul: Piranha II

Piranha II: The Spawning

Water Foul: Alligator

Alligator

Mannequin

Mannequin

The Last Dragon

The Last Dragon

The Dentist 2

The Dentist 2

Troll

Troll

Leprechaun

Leprechaun

1990: The Bronx Warriors

1990: The Bronx Warriors

American Chinatown

American Chinatown

Reviews/Trivia of B-Movies, Bad Movies, and Cult Movies.